I'm the MUMMY -

so I guess that's why I spent the past several hours getting all the presents all WRAPPED up. (it supposed to be a joke, go ahead and laugh...

now I know why I usually wrap things as I buy them. it is crazy trying to get everything all wrapped at once.

HO! HO! HO! it's off to the kitchen I go! (to clean it up; so I can then mess it up again, making more neighbor goodies... 'tis the season!)

piano recital

Let's see if I can figure out how to do this... (posting a video I mean)






I did it!!! I wasn't even that hard.

Aaron and Katrina both did a great job on their pieces. (Although not "perfect" - which they were capable of, they had done them perfectly at home many times, but hey, who doesn't get nervous when playing in front of an audience???) I am very proud of them both!

the official christmas card picture

I am on the downstairs computer right now, so here is the picture we used for the Christmas card we sent out.



Now I guess I need to update the family photo in the upper left corner of the blog. that was the Christmas card photo for 2006. My little family just keeps growing, eh?

Mission Accomplished

A couple days back in my "Christmas card" post, I set the goal to have my cards done and in the mail by Wednesday (which was yesterday.) I know you have all been on pins and needles... wondering if I managed to do it. Yessiree. I did. (except for like 4 more that are waiting for me to track down the correct addresses)

While I would hate to ruin it for those of you who are on my "Christmas card" mailing list, I'm going to post it anyway. (if you are on my list, feel free to stop reading here. You can just read it when the paper copy gets there.) Rather than type out a whole page long update letter, I just did bullet highlights of the year. That way I was able to get two per page. (less cost in copies) and it was much faster to write up. SO - here it is:

Merry Christmas from the ****** Family

Here is the condensed version of what we've been up to during 2008. For more details and photos, feel free to check out my blog at aficklepickle.blogspot.com. We send our love and holiday wishes!

Tim – still working at Navitaire * real estate transactions (as agent) * in process of buying another investment property * Scoutmaster * Scout camp in Idaho * lots of audio books during long commute *

Jeri – full time mom (that says it all) * blogging * primary chorister * school volunteer * seeing some improvement in my piano playing ability(slow and sometimes steady...)* generally sleep deprived * trying to be a gardener *

Aaron – 8 yrs old * baptized in July * 3^rd grade * LOVES animals * started gymnastics * great improvements in reading * artistic * musical (piano and singing) * piano recitals * loves to build and create * fantastic imagination * geode hunting trip with Dad * swim lessons * cub scouts *

Katrina – 5 yrs old * barely missed kindergarten deadline but is totally ready * loves reading * started gymnastics in Nov. * piano lessons * piano recitals * good friend to others * loves to play “teacher” * super progress in speech therapy (everyone can totally understand her now) * swim lessons * a huge help to me during the day *

>Bryan – 3 yrs old * LOVES “primary” (his nursery teachers are the most amazing people EVER in the history of nursery!) * he is “Bryan the big boy” (and if you ever call him anything else, look out!) * loves to play outside * speech therapy * “mommy's big helper” * swim lessons * adorable * tiny tot gymnastics *

Caleb – 1 year old this month * started walking at 10 months * plays well with siblings and by himself * sweet, calm, easy going boy * blue eyes (only child in our family) * loves to laugh * peek-a-boo * loves baths (any water actually) * a complete joy in our home *

Family – weekend getaway at the Homestead Resort (work party) * rock hounding at Topaz mountain * new backyard playground * family reunion at cabin near Heber City * swimming * bowling * camping * hiking * hot dog roasts over the back yard fire pit *

This is NOT the picture that we had made into cards, but it was one of the finalists. I'm not posting the actual picture right now, because it is on the computer downstairs and I am too lazy to go down there right now. I'll get around to posting it one of these days... maybe...




PS - if anyone out there is just DYING to be added to my official mailing list - send me your snail mail address (I'll delete the comment after I write down the address) and I'll be happy to add you to my list.)

One Year Ago...

right now, I was lying in the hospital after giving birth (via emergency C-Section) to my sweet little Caleb.

What a year it has been. He is such a blessing to me. While it has been a very difficult year with depression (which I am attributing to postpartum), he has been such a wonderful baby.

Of the four kids, he has been the best sleeper. (Still not super fantastic by most standards, but really pretty good compared to the other kids.) He is generally so easy going and happy. (Not right now, of course; right now he is crying because he has a cough/cold and is miserable, is apparently having a bout of constipation, he is tired, and needs some motrin and he needs his mommy to rock him so he can go to sleep. Guess I'd better get right on that.

Here are some pictures:

I LOVE MY BOY!!!!!

gotta love it!

So tonight at dinner Aaron says,

"you know mom, how you've been making food that is healthier and costs less money?"

yes.....

"when can we go back to having food that tastes good?"

Christmas Cards

Over at Pikes Pickles, is a short post about how she loves getting the annual Christmas cards and letters each year. She asked the question "how do you feel about Christmas cards. My "quick comment" got longer and longer, so I figured I'd just put it here as an official post instead.

The Traditional Annual Christmas letter... I LOVE getting them in the mail. Tim is the mail opener at our house. EXCEPT for Christmas cards. I rip them open as soon as they come. I then display them somewhere in the house (usually the kitchen so I can look a them more often) for the month. When it is time to pack away the Christmas stuff, I file the photos and letters, organized as families, in sheet protectors, in a binder I call "Who's Who? - Who's Where?" It is so fun to flip through the pages and see the Christmas letters and photos. Each year as I add the new photos to the binder and I flip through each family's pictures and marvel at how they've grown and changed. I often end up pulling out letters and re-reading them. It takes me WAY to long to get this particular job completed. And I LOVE it!
Also in the binder I keep copies of all of the letters and photo cards we have send out for the past 8 years. I love to look at the changes in my own family. It is just fun see all 7 photos, all in a row, and see the changes. I'm running behind this year and haven't gotten this years letter and photo done yet. Ive got 2 pictures I'm considering using, but I don't really like either of them. I'm going to try one more time tomorrow, and if I don't get a picture I love, I'll just have to "settle."
The only thing I don't love about the whole tradition is that the price of copies and stamps and photo cards keeps going up; and when you send out close to 100 letters, it really adds up - but I love the tradition too much to give it up. (Much to my husband's chagrin. His opinion is that I should "just send an email.")
I just got my friend Adrienne's card in the mail today, and she had a great idea. She just put in a little paper that said instead of an annual letter, she just invited people to check out her blog instead. (By the way Adrienne - you (and the whole family) look absolutely beautiful!) We'll have to see what I do this year... I need to hurry. I've told myself I have to have them done and in the mail by next Wed. Wish me luck!

HOORAY - a great day!!!

Finally - today was a great day.

Yesterday was another really rough, depressed day; and I was starting to wonder if it would ever end. I told Tim that maybe it was time for me to try using St John's Wort again, or something else to try to help me even out these horrible ups and downs. mostly downs recently. (I took St John's Wort about 9 years ago and felt like it really helped even me out, but I had to stop taking it once we decided to start our family since it has abortive side effects. So there I was, sitting there last night planning to go buy the herbs today, and I realized that before I start trying to find an external fix to my problems... I'd better stop, REPENT, and do any internal fixing that I could first. (I've been staying up later and later, getting up later and later, no exercise, junk food, etc... I couldn't find the will to make myself clean the kitchen/house, yet looking at and being in the mess made things seem SO much more insurmountable. It's really a Vicious cycle! I went to bed last night determined to give today my best effort and SURPRISE!!! It worked! (I think all the scriptures about people being quick to forget, and slow to remember their God - were written about me!)

SO - this morning I was up and dressed by 7:30, spent some time talking to Aaron and praising him for getting himself up and totally ready to go to school quickly and without being asked or prodded (aka nagged). Ate a healthy breakfast. Read my scriptures. (something I've been slacking in) cleaned up the kitchen. read scriptures to Katrina and Bryan. cleaned up kids rooms (they helped). made bread. I made the conscious effort to notice and comment about all the positive things my children did throughout the day. Katrina was very helpful throughout most of the day, and was focusing on practicing using good manners. It was really darling, because she was "teaching" Bryan how to do the same. ("Bryan, say may I have a drink of water please?") Very cute.

When I picked Aaron up from school I asked how his day had been. His reply was "great!" (this was a pleasant change, and I asked why it was so great. His reply, "I learned something today. I learned that school is more fun when you do your work instead of talk." Wow! what a great revelation. He proceeded to tell me that he was talking (of course) during literacy time, and his teacher reminded him that he is trying to earn his shark by not talking to others during class time - an working hard to complete his work. (it's a baby shark preserved in a jar that he has been trying to earn.) He said that when his teacher reminded him, he stopped talking, and he was totally amazed to find that once he stopped talking, and I quote, "I finished my work in like 3 minutes!"

All in all, it was a really great day. My dear friend Holly and i used to go walking every morning at 6:20. When Holly went back to work (at 6 in the morning) at the first of November our walking came to an abrupt halt. Since then, I have done ZERO exercise. (is it any wonder I've been in a slump?) We have decided that since we can't go in the mornings anymore, we will go at at night, after the kids are supposed to be in bed. Hopefully we will be able to get the kids into a solid routine so that Tim won't resent me leaving every night and leaving the kids for him to get off to bed. Tonight was our first night walking, and we are trying out walking at an indoor track rather than walking outside in the COLD and DARK! While I don't like that we have to DRIVE to get there, and I know that Jasmine really enjoys getting out and walking with us, it was really nice to walk at the track tonight. We found that we walked a lot faster and at a more steady speed than we do when we walk outside. We went just over 2 miles tonight in under an hour. (it was about 45 minutes I think.) Our goal is to walk for the rest of December, and then in January introduce a bit of jogging into the mix, a little at a time. We both really don't like the whole running thing at all, but figure we need to raise the bar a bit since right now we are mostly just "maintaining." (the "we" in that last sentence means ME mostly, she's actually down a pant size... GO HOLLY!) Anyway, it felt really great to be walking (and talking) again. I have really missed our morning visits. I know that it is better for the body to exercise in the morning , so that my metabolism can be fired up for the day, but hey, this is WAY better than the whole month of NOTHING that I have been doing.

Anyway, it is PAST bedtime again (11:45 right now) - but I just didn't want to go to bed without being thankful for such a great day!

Here you go Melissa - a new post

My dear friend Melissa has rightly 'chastised' me for not posting for so long. No, Life isn't THAT "disturbing." Right after my last post I got really sick, and I'm still not fully recuperated. I had the whole aches and pains, plus a fever and cough and sore throat and everything. Totally lost my voice for a couple days. Now I am mostly fine, just a lingering cough (mostly at night when I lie down to sleep. The problem now is that Caleb is sick. He was running a 103 temp Saturday - Monday, but now just seem to have a cold. Life is never dull! My house sort of imploded while I was sick, and I still haven't quite got it all back under control.. (Of course, truth be told, it is very rarely under control, sick or not...)

Anyway, my major trial right now is parenting. I went to the library yesterday and checked out some new parenting books that I hope will help me in my quest to be a better parent, particularly in dealing with Aaron. Today I got the 'pleasant' (NOT) surprise of receiving a phone call from the principal at Aaron's school. Apparently, Aaron and 3 other kids used their scissors to drill holes in the desk tops. AARRGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!! The consensus from the teacher and administrators was that it was just a case of kids not thinking - nothing malicious or purposely destructive.

Then this afternoon I attended his parent teacher conference. (it had already been scheduled, it just happened to fall on the "desk drilling day") His teacher expressed her observations that matched mine, that the past 3 weeks Aaron has been really acting up. It's happening at school and at church. Neither of us can pinpoint what the underlying problem is... I told her that he has asked a couple times in the past few weeks if I could pull him out of school and home school him because he "hates" school. He has also expressed a lot of concern about cursive writing. They've been told that starting in January they need to submit their writing work in cursive, and Aaron feels he can't do it.

I can't help but feel that the behavior problems are directly related to his low self-esteem and low self-confidence issues. I also can't help but think that I am the main reason behind these feelings of inadequacy. While I don't do it on purpose, I fear that I use shame techniques and am too "emotionally unavailable" to him (and to everyone else). The trouble is, I don't know how to fix myself!

Tim did a great job talking to Aaron tonight about choices and consequences. Aaron is going to be grounded for the next few days from all TV and Computer use, and he will be doing some extra jobs around the house to earn money which he will then donate to the school to make some restitution for the damage done. He (and the other kids involved) will be missing a few recesses and they will spend that recess time doing service in the school (like picking up trash, cleaning scuff marks from the gym floor, etc...)

On the drive home, Aaron cried and said I don't love him, and that his teacher yells at him all the time and is always mad at him. (I know she does ask him to be quiet often, since he is always talking out during class and has real trouble staying on task and completing his work) Tonight while Tim and I met with him to discuss the problems, I asked Aaron what Tim and I can do to show him and help him know that we love him. He said that I am always spending my time cleaning the kitchen and I never play with him. He wants me to stop cleaning and play more games and spend more time with him. Tim pointed out to Aaron that one of the reasons I have to clean all the time is because he and the other kids are always making giant messes and not cleaning them up.

I guess the good news is that I have a place to start. I will be focusing on getting my cleaning done earlier in the day and spending more time playing with the kids.

This parenting thing is SO hard. I just feel like I don't have a clue what I'm doing, and I worry that I'm ruining my children. (It doesn't help that Caleb still isn't sleeping well (due to being sick) and I am majorly sleep deprived! Oh well. Nobody said life was going to be easy!


How was that Melissa? Betcha now you wish I had waited to put on a happier post. Oh well. I do actually have a couple fun and happy posts in my head, I just can't ever seem to make the time to get them posted. maybe tomorrow. (you know how it is with sick kids, you just sit and hold them all day long...) love ya bunches - glad ya missed me.

Disturbing....

It is WAY past my bedtime, but as I was shutting down the computer I saw a news headline that really disturbed me, and I just couldn't go to bed without clarifying my position on President -Elect Obama.

The headline read "Obama election spurs race crimes around country." I read the article and was absolutely APPALLED that the things it talked about were taking place. COME ON PEOPLE~
You all know that I did not want Obama to win the election. HOWEVER - my not wanting Obama to win the election had absolutely NOTHING to do with the color of his skin! (I didn't want McCain either - I just saw him as the lesser of the two evils.) It had everything to do with his opinions on things that I think are extremely important. I am concerned about Obama's socialist/Marxist attitudes and agenda. I am concerned about his history of choosing to associate with people who do not love and respect (in truth people who openly hate) America. I am concerned about his complete support and acceptance of abortion. I am concerned that he openly does not honor and respect the Constitution of the United States. I truly fear for the future of America and the divinely inspired Constitution.

All this being true - I am so so sorry that there are apparently still many people in this country who can't see past skin color, ethnic group, religious affiliation, or whatever other "classification" we assign to people.

Do I cherish the thought of the next 4 years under the leadership of President Obama? NO. Far from it. But I do not wish any harm to him or his family, or to any other people of color (black white yellow brown purple red blue or green - pick your color) and I feel so strongly that anyone who does wish them harm, needs to take a few steps back, take a few deep breaths, and let it go. Find a way to give love, not hate. Find a way to lift and to build, not tear down and destroy.

And with that having been said - NOW I am going to bed.

*** if you find something in this post offensive or not up to politically correct standards - please forgive and cut me some slack ... I've never been so good at the PC thing. I just had to express my concern that such horrible things are being said and done in response to the election of a "black" man. I think it is a very sad commentary on the general nature of the natural man, and I needed to 'vent'. ***

"and a little child child shall lead them..."

I just wanted to share something I thought was cute from our Family Home Evening tonight. I was teaching the lesson, and it was on the "Second Coming of Christ" and some of the general signs and how we need to be prepared. Yes, I'm still studying that topic... but i am not freaking out or anything too over the top) After I told (in short simple terms) about a few of the more formidable signs, I said (in a dramatic over-exaggerated way) that I thought it was going to be too scary and that I thought we should all just go hide under our beds. I asked if they thought that was what Heavenly Father wanted us to do.
I thought Katrina's response was perfect. She raised her hand, and when I called on her she said, "No, He wants us to have Faith."

I am thankful that my children, young as they are, have budding testimonies and know to whom they can look for peace, comfort, and truth.

Hooray!!! They did great!!!

Today was our ward's annual primary sacrament meeting presentation. IT WENT GREAT! I have been the chorister for 3 years now (well, 3 years in January, but this is my 3rd program) and I really believe that this was the best one yet! The program was very well written (I had nothing to do with that) and the children (for the most part) all had their parts memorized. We were asked by the bishop to have them memorize their parts so that the message of what they were saying became more internalized and a part of their individual testimonies. I was amazed at what a difference it made. (we always encourage them to memorize their parts of course, but we made a much bigger push for it this year, and it was fantastic.

The kids sang the following songs:

* I am a Child of God (with obbligato on 3rd verse)

* Tell me the Stories of Jesus

* I know that My Redeemer Lives

* We Thank Thee O God for a Prophet

* Home

* I love to See the Temple

* Called to Serve

* When Jesus Christ was Baptized

* A Child's Prayer (duet part was with children singing child's part and male teachers singing Heavenly Father's response - it was great!)

* If the Savior Stood Beside me

They did such an amazing job. They sang out loud and clear, they followed me, they were reverent (for the most part) while they sat up on the stand... I LOVED IT! We had a few minor glitches, (like on one of the songs when I didn't stand them up right, and then I forgot to sit them back down again. Don't know where my brain went on that one. And on Called to Serve we had a couple kids who just couldn't help themselves - they HAD to march along... My fault for letting them march while we were learning the song. it is just so much fun to MARCH to, ya know what I mean?)

We sang If the Savior Stood Beside Me as the closing hymn and it was WONDERFUL! If you want to hear the arrangement that we sang, go to this link http://www.defordmusic.com/ifthesaviorstoodbesideme.htm, then go to the option of MP3 Recording featuring vocals by Becki Madsen: (i'd put it on here for you if I had any idea how to do that - but I don't so you are on your own. It really is a beautiful arrangement. We did it with the 2 flutes playing their part, and the Activity Day girls singing the special 3rd verse that was written for the Young Women. There is a part after the girls sing their verse, where there is a big pause before we come in on the 4th verse. Every time we practiced, we just couldn't seem to come in together. (It didn't help that they just FINALLY got a permanent pianist called 3 weeks before the program, and he was home with sick kids one of those 3 weeks, and up until a week ago I was also trying to play one of the flute parts, since we couldn't seem to find anyone else who played. Have you ever tried to lead a song and play the flute at the same time? It's a bit tricky...) All that not withstanding - today - it was PERFECT! I couldn't have asked for anything more.

Right now I am totally exhausted and ready to crash for the night, but I just couldn't go to bed without shouting to the roof tops that we are done and it when all is said and done, it was SUPER FANTASTIC!!!!

(I almost want to be released right now - end on a high note, ya know? I just can't imagine being able to match this next year... yet my brain is already starting to think and plan and pick my songs for next year - so I guess maybe I have one more year left in me:)

Still here...

Hi all. I haven't gone missing or anything, and I'm not depressed like I was before. I'm actually doing remarkable well in that arena, especially considering the whole "election stress."

This morning I read Tristi's "post-election post" and I was amazed at the positive attitude she was able to maintain. I would like to be able to honestly express those types of generous and semi-hopeful feelings, but it wouldn't be real. The reality is that I am very, very afraid for our country. America is truly a land of promise - as long as the people who live here love and serve God. Unfortunately, the wickedness of the world is becoming so blatant and horrifying. As wickedness become stronger and the righteous voices becomes fewer, the Lord will not sustain and support us - he can't. (speaking of protecting and sustaining this great nation. He, of course, will ALWAYS sustain and support righteous individuals.)
About a week ago I was thinking about this whole election debacle and the thought came to me the words "an Obama nation" and "an abomination" sure sound an awful lot alike. Just a coincidence?
The American people have voiced their opinions and have voted for "change." I just wish that the people voting for that change had stopped to realize that Fidel Castro was voted into office when the people of Cuba were so desperate for "change." And they got it! I wish the young voters who came out so strongly in favor of "change" had stopped to contemplate the "change" that Germany got when they blindly followed the charismatic and moving speeches of Adolf Hitler. They got "change" didn't they? And all the horrors that followed.

"Change" is not the answer, unless the change is made by moving from wickedness to righteousness. The repenting, change of heart kind of change would suite me just fine - but a change to bigger government, higher taxes, socialism, wider acceptance of abortion, less respect for life, disintegration of the family values, trampling underfoot the constitution of this country.... these are NOT CHANGES that will bring happiness. They will only bring this great country, and it's people, to ruin.

This election has brought me a LOT of stress. A couple weeks ago I actually had a couple panic/anxiety attacks over everything that was going on. I was shaking, couldn't speak, felt like I couldn't breathe, couldn't focus, basically couldn't function - it was awful. At that point I made the conscious choice to shift my focus of study. I stopped thinking about the election (as much as was possible) and began studying the "last days" and the "signs of the second coming of Christ." It has been a wonderful experience for me. My opinion/feeling is that the second coming is much closer than most of us realize. The signs ARE being fulfilled - RAPIDLY! I have been amazed as I read the prophesies and look at how they are being fulfilled all around me.

As a general rule, whenever I start to feel out of control - or that the world is going out of control - my knee-jerk reaction is to run out and "BUY FOOD STORAGE." In my study of the words of the prophets regarding the last days, I have once again been reminded that all the wheat in the world, stored in my basement (and I am still lacking in that) isn't going to "save" me. It is not my food storage that will protect and preserve my family. I have to be spiritually prepared more than anything else. I have to make sure that my testimony of Jesus Christ is vibrant and living. I have to make sure that I am doing everything in my power to teach my children the things they will need to get through these perilous times. I must be fiercely obedient! Things are going to get ugly - really, really ugly. But the Lord will prepare a way for those who love and follow Him. I will keep my eye turned to the prophet, and I will follow his counsel. I am SO very, very grateful to know that we are led by a living Prophet of God. I know that if we follow him, we will be okay. it won't be easy, but it is the ONLY way to true happiness.

May God bless us and guide us in all that we do. I continue to pray for this country and it's people, but I fear that my prayers are in vain, because Satan has such a hold on the hearts of the people. Hold onto your hats and batten down the hatches, because we are in for a wild ride. The winds of "change" are blowing, and I am afraid that they are hurricane force winds. With God as our shelter and fortress, we will survive. Anything else will not be enough!

I do believe that now it is time for me to go say my prayers, read my scriptures, send Aaron off to school, then go buy some more food storage!

a great weekend

hi all -

My friend Matilda* is flying solo for the next little while - while her hubby is out of town at a training conference. I feel for her - it is no fun being at home alone, but it sure is great for me. She's been hanging out with me during the day, keeping me company (it's so great to have an adult to talk to), helping me with the kids, and letting me help her on some projects at her house that she is trying to get done while he's out of town. (the helping on projects thing is good for me because she makes me feel like "super-competent woman" and it is a big ego booster. {like I need any EGO boosting, but that is another story altogether})

SO... last Friday we were just hanging out, and Matilda volunteered to watch the kids while Tim and I went to the temple. I took her up on the offer, then she said, "in fact, you guys could even go away overnight and I'll watch the kids." Oh la la! (I can count on 1 hand the times Tim and I have been away overnight without the kids, and that's including this past weekend. It's really hard for me to leave my kids...) The initial plan was that Tim and I would go away this upcoming weekend (it's my birthday weekend and I thought it would be great to take an overnight trip to Logan - both away time AND I could hold Charlotte's adorable little Heather!!!), but it was a little harder to figure out how to make it work, since Aaron has been working towards earning a camping trip with Tim (to go hunting for geodes), and this weekend was supposed to be the trip... AND the kids start swim lessons on Saturday morning... so we decided to switch gears and we quickly threw it together for last weekend. I tell you - Matilda has a GIFT! If you need "romantic" ideas - she is the one to call. We got the room reserved, then while Tim and I went out to dinner, she went to work sprucing up the hotel room. (with my 4 children in tow even... she's amazing!)

Tim thought we were just having a nice dinner date night (rare enough, in and of itself) until we actually turned into the hotel parking lot. When we got to our room, we found a vase of beautiful roses (Tim took a picture, which I'll post someday... maybe...but until then, here is a nice picture that give you an idea - but mine were way cooler!), Hershey kisses sprinkled all over the bed, more chocolate, a tray of cheese and crackers, sparkling cider, and strawberries. It was so great. We were totally stuffed from our dinner at the Olive Garden (I love their salad and breadsticks - mmm mmmmm) that I'm afraid we didn't fully appreciate the yummy treats, but the ambiance had been established, and we enjoyed a great break from real life.

THANKS MATILDA!!!!

We are going to take advantage of her again this weekend and go to the temple. Let's hear it for great friends!!! hip hip hooray! Hip hip hooray! HIP HIP HOORAY!!!

* name is changed to protect her identity, since I just announced to the entire world that she is home alone...

I got this from Ali's blog and jsut had to see what I car I am. (i fully expected to be an OLD beater model t or something - but NO - I am AWESOME!!!

I'm a Ford Mustang!

You're an American classic -- fast, strong, and bold. You're not snobby or pretentious, but you have what it takes to give anyone a run for their money.

"Take the Which Sports Car Are You? quiz.

(I once told Tim that my "dream car" has always been a mustang, ever since high school. ( in high school I dreamed about a convertible mustang) I can't really say why - but now I know... it's because somewhere deep inside - I am a mustang!)

He did it again

Remember the (rhetorical) question I ended with on my last post - "Is anything too hard for the Lord?" In case you were wondering, the answer is NO!!!!

The afternoon session was another fantastic session of hope and comfort for me. I didn't have super high expectations, since the first session had already met and exceed every hope I went into the conference with --- and yet the very first talk once again touched my heart and lifted my soul. (and it kept going from there)

Talk about the "Balm of Gilead."

What an amazing day! I am so very very grateful!!!

Manna from heaven

boy oh boy! I have always felt that the best session of conference is the saturday morning one - and I sure LOVED this morning.

So many messages of hope and joy. Pres Uchtdorf (especially) spoke directly to me. I have been feeling such despair lately and I so desperately needed his message of HOPE. I also really needed Elder Perry's talk about simplifying our lives and feeling more joy and peace in so doing. I am going to have to buy the CDs of this conference when they come out, so I can listen to these talks again.

I am so very grateful for a Father in Heaven who loves me and who answers my prayers so directly through these inspired leaders.

It's almost time for the next session to start. It's hard to imagine that anything could be as fulfilling for me as this morning's session was, but you know what the scripture says, "is anything too hard for the Lord?" And so I will watch the remaining sessions with faith and hope, and I expect that the Lord will continue to send me my own personal Manna from heaven, until I am filled to overflowing. (Shouldn't be hard - apparently my eyes/tear ducts are already there...)

sharks & spiders & sleep - OH MY!

EVERYONE stand and give three cheers for me! I FINALLY mopped my kitchen floor today!

HIP HIP HOORAY!!!
HIP HIP HOORAY!!!
HIP HIP HOORAY!!!

Thank you thank you - It was SO SO bad. (you can probably tell my overwhelming feeling of gladness that it is finally done, by all the caps and exclamation marks eh?) It has needed to be done for a long time, and everyday I would tell myself that I was going to get it done, but I never could quite bring myself to do it. (the actual mopping isn't the worst part, but you have to get the kitchen clean first, since mopping is the LAST thing you do - of course!)
Today I was determined to get it done, but was still dragging my feet (emotionally and physically), so I employed a trick I use on my kids - try to somehow make it new and different and hopefully FUN. I called my friend Holly and asked if I could try out her new SHARK steam mop. She loves it, and I am desperately in need of a new mop and have been considering buying one for myself, but didn't want to fork out the $$$, just to find out I didn't love it. ANYWAY, she let me borrow it, and just knowing it was sitting there waiting for me to give it a test drive, gave me what I needed to finish the job. I cleaned the kitchen, swept the floor (3 times, to be exact, since every time I thought I was done, "magically" some crackers, or cereal got re-distributed...) then brought out the SHARK. I have to be honest. I didn't love it. I think my floors are just a bit too much (as in "disgustingly gross") for it to handle. It took longer to finish the job than my old mop and bucket of water - but it DID do a really great job cleaning the little indented lines in the linoleum floor,and I loved that it didn't leave the floor all wet - Caleb was crawling around while I did it and he didn't get wet at all. I also I loved that it would really be a water saver. Less than a cup of water as opposed to a big ole bucket of mop water, and no harsh chemicals or cleaners. - just the water. Trina absolutely LOVED it. She mopped for quite a while with it. (that was actually another concern. The unit is really lightweight, which is a plus, but I'm not sure it is durable enough to stand up to my "helping" kids. ANY WHICH WAY - my floor is CLEAN! and I am thrilled! (if only it would stay that way for more than a few hours. but oh well. that's life.

NEXT ITEM...

You all know I love nature. Well, not SPIDERS so much. Last night we saw the HUGEST (non-tarantula) spider I have ever seen. Every fall we usually see at least one tarantula in search of a nice warm place to hang out for the winter. When Tim first saw this little giant trying to come into our kitchen, through the open sliding door, that's what we figured it was - until we looked again. This sucker is a WOLF SPIDER. He's HUGE! I took out a ruler and tried to measure him, without getting my hand too too close, of course. He was easily four inches! ICKKKK!!!!! I know the photo isn't very good, but it's enough that you can get an idea of this guy. Poor Katrina couldn't fall asleep last night. "every time I close my eyes, I can see spiders, trying to come into my room!" poor girl. it was gone this morning, and I can only hope it went somewhere other than INSDIE my house, because I will totally FREAK out if I accidentally step on this guy in the middle of the night in my bare feet, or if I happen around corner and there he is. EEEWWWWW.

and the last thing -

SLEEP. Remember that song on Sesame Street, "one of these things is not like the other?"
Well - sleep is the odd man out. I have the shark (on loan), the spiders, but unfortunately I am not getting enough sleep! OH MY!

and that is all there is to say about that.

'cause I'm a WOMAN

More like a WANNABE woman.

I was driving afternoon carpool pickup yesterday, and listening to Dr. Laura while I drove. (I can't get that station in my house, so the only time I can listen is when I do carpool in the afternoons, but I have learned SO much from listening to her for just those 10 - 15 minutes a day for the past 3 years.)

Anyway, I won't go in to the specifics of the question that her male caller had regarding his wife, but the answer hit me hard. Dr. Laura said, "the problem is, that you are married to a FEMALE, instead of a WOMAN." She clarified a bit more, and said that you can look in a crowd of people and you can easily pick out the FEMALES as opposed to the WOMEN.

Females are the angry, scowling, right on the edge and easily annoyed at everything, chip on shoulder, "men are oppressive," "what's in it for me" - kind of people.

Real WOMEN, on the other hand, are happy and find joy in their lives. Real WOMEN delight in caring for their husbands, children, and homes. Sounds a little bit like the Sister Beck conference talk on "Women who Know" huh? I admit, I'm a slow learner and need to hear the same lessons over and over, and through various sources.

When I heard this caller yesterday, it totally pointed out to me that I have been acting like a FEMALE, not a WOMAN. I was annoyed with the house, and the cooking, and the running around, and the kids, and the ....... (you name it...)

I determined to once again to find the "woman" within. I caught a glimpse of her last night, and the fact that I'm still thinking along the same vein this morning is promising. I want to be a "real" woman. A "woman who knows." A woman who loves and is loved. I don't want to settle for just being a female. I was sent to this earth to be SO much more than that.

So - all you females out there -
RISE UP and be WOMEN!!!!
(and feel free to remind me that I want to be a REAL woman, the next time you notice too much female-itis creeping into my blog...)

sick day/weekend report

Nothing exciting here - just an "I'm sick post." (laced with lots and lots of LDS lingo) so feel free to move on...

I stayed home from church today, keeping Bryan and Caleb with me. Yesterday I woke up with a horrible, awful, terrible, sore throat. (also stuffy nose and all over general body aches... but the sore throat was the worst) I knew there was no way I could do the singing in Primary, so I got a sub. I don't do that very often. I love my calling, and the prideful side of me is pretty possessive it, thinking that NO ONE else could do possibly my job as well as I do! (is that asking for a lightening bolt or WHAT???) Just to be clear here, I KNOW there are lots and lots of people in my ward with more sheer musical talent, but I think I am a pretty good mix of basic musical ability, fun (albeit quirky) disposition, and overall ability to keep the kids attention (the majority of the time))
ANYWAY - my pride notwithstanding, I got a sub and stayed home. I was really hoping for a 2 hour nap, but it was not meant to be. I finally got Caleb to sleep about 10 minutes before the rest of the family got home. Oh well, that's life.

Yesterday Tim decided it was "paint the playground" day. Since we bought a wooden set, the wood is supposed to be sealed once a year, preferably in the fall, to protect it from the elements. Tell me again - why did we buy a WOODEN SET??? Tim bought a couple paints that are supposed to protect for 3 - 5 years. We'll have to see how they live up to their claims. We painted for about 1 1/2 hours, then I got Aaron and Katrina and myself ready to go over to the church to see Aaron's two friends, TJ and Rebecca, be baptized. then we came home, changed back into painting attire and painted for several more hours. I WAS MISERABLE! (I probably made Tim miserable too, for that matter, what with all my wheezing, whining, and "poor sick me sighing.") Then at 4:30 I came in, showered and got dressed up again to go over to the general Relief Society broadcast. It was nice. I really enjoyed Sister Becks talk and for a brief moment, felt up to the challenge of "doing more." - then my stuffy head and overall feeling of exhaustion took over and I'm afraid I didn't get a whole lot out of the next two talks. (although I did get the message loud and clear that I need to be attending the temple on a more regular basis.)

I enjoyed President Uchtdorf's talk. He is just a fun person to listen to. I rode over with my friend Holly, and on the way home she summed it up perfectly when she said after his talks she always feels better about herself. I agree. I think he often manages to hit perfectly that balance between encouraging me to do a little better and try a little harder, while making me feel that I am loved and accepted just as I am. Exactly WHAT he said (aside from that his wife is a great cook and all he can make is eggs and toast) is still rather a blur in my stuffy fuzzy head, but I took some notes, and hopefully they will make sense when I pull them back out to review.

I am totally excited for General Conference coming up this weekend. It is always such a wonderful spiritual boost for me. (was even more so when I could actually sit and listen and HEAR what they were saying - it's a bit trickier with children, but still WONDERFUL!!!

I think that's about it. I am tired. I'm hoping for a good night's sleep tonight, but Caleb has a cold, and I think he is finally going to cut some teeth - so he's not sleeping well (what's new eh?) and a little extra crabby. I think I just heard Tim come home (from a home teaching appt) I know he's supposed to be going out soon to collect fast offerings, then has another home teaching appt at 8:00. I'm thinking if I want to see my husband today, I'd better go up and visit with him now.

thanks for listening. blah blah blah....

funny kids...

a couple funny things from my day today...

At a nearby park this afternoon (complete with small pond, boardwalk, and wetlands area); Bryan kept saying, "be careful mom. be careful mom." I asked, "be careful of what?"
"Be careful mom, you might bump into a whale shark." Silly me. now why didn't I think of that??? For the next 5 minutes or so, he was completely obsessed about the whale sharks that he was certain were lurking under every bunch of moss, bridge, bush, and tree.
He just couldn't accept my reassurances that there were NO WHALE SHARKS!!!

I was just sitting here bemoaning the fact that I worked SO hard yesterday to clean up the kitchen. Believe me, I worked SO SO SO hard! Aaron wondered what was wrong and I told him, "I worked so hard yesterday to get the whole kitchen clean, and now it is such a mess again. I just don't know what to do." With all the wisdom, logic, and simplicity of a child, he looked at me and said, "well, that's easy. You go clean it up."
OF COURSE!!! that's the answer I have been trying to put my finger on all day long...

I know there were a couple more funny things that I wanted to share, but they have apparently buried themselves somewhere deep in the vast recesses of my mind, perhaps never to be heard of again - so you have all been spared!

I supposed that now I should get my little backside into the kitchen and CLEAN IT UP!. (while keeping an eye out for rouge whale sharks, of course.

family is all there is - part 2

As promised - a few photos-

Tim showed me how to find the pictures I was looking for. Here is a picture of Mike and Rachael (taken in 1995)


The next photo is of my family (as of 95) we have since then added 4 more grandkids to the total. I was only 3 weeks away from delivering Bryan when this picture was taken, but we couldn't really postpone it, since we scheduled the photos for the time when my brother Matt and his family were here visiting. (they live in Japan)

and last but not least, is my very own little family that I love. This is just a picture we took when we went to the zoo earlier this month. (another "make up post" that you can be looking forward to.)



That's all folks - remember. FAMILY is what it's all about! If you don't currently have a loving family that you can enjoy being a part of - I suggest that you go out and "adopt one." (not necessarily talking about official adoption either... There is probably someone nearby who needs you as much as you need them....

Family is all there is...

I've been MIA in blog world this month, but it's not because good things haven't been happening - I've just been to busy/lazy/tired to get them posted. It's time for some make up posts.

On Sept 12, My eldest brother Mike and his wife Rachael were sealed in the Mt Timpanogos Temple. It was a GREAT DAY!!! I was so happy for them both. They have been working toward this day for a while, and it was so great to be able to be there with them. Mike looked so incredibly happy. You could just see the "happy vibes" shooting out from his countenance. It was wonderful.

In the sealing room, I was sitting next to my aunt Karen. Now, most of you don't know my aunt Karen so her name means nothing to you, but let me tell you this -- everyone NEEDS someone like my aunt Karen in their life. She is just such an amazing person. I have always had so much love and respect for her. She is a wonderful example to me in so many ways.
While we were waiting for Mike and Rach to come into the room, I was talking quietly to Karen. I told her how Rachael's grandparents weren't sure they were going to be able to make it, since they live in Salt Lake, but they don't drive anymore. I had told Rachael, "call aunt Karen. I'm sure she's coming. She has never missed an important family event. She's been at every wedding, sealing, mission farewell, etc... She'll be there." Karen just smiled and said "FAMILY IS ALL THERE IS. it's all that matters."

What a simple yet true statement. Family is all there is. Not all families all look the same, and not everyone has the opportunity in this life for the "traditional family" (ie mom dad and little kiddos) but the truth remains that when all is said and done, the only things we can take with us when this life is over are:
1) the knowledge we have gained and
2) the relationships we've built. (family and friends)

I am thankful for my sweet family. I am married to a very good man, and we have 4 terrific children. I am trying to ENJOY them more and more on a daily basis. I have parents who continue to teach and guide, and I have 5 brothers and 1 sister, each of whom teaches me and blesses my life in so many ways. Add into the mix in-laws, nieces and nephews, and a vast array of aunts, uncles, cousins etc... and there is no question that I am very RICHLY blessed when it come to family. I am also thankful for my good friends.

Life is good. I am blessed.

ps - I have a photo of mike and rachael that was taken a couple years back, but I can't find it right now. I'll look again later on the computer downstairs and if I find it - i'll get it posted.

When did I become one of the OLD people???

There is a song from the musical "Fiddler on the Roof" that is pertinent for me today. It is the scene where the parents are watching their daughter getting married and they are marveling at how quickly the time has flown by. Part of the song says,

"I don't remember growing older, when did they..." (everyone together now... Sunrise, Sunset, Sunrise, Sunset, swiftly fly the years.... are you humming along yet)

ok, enough singing - back to the post - Today as I was driving home from completing my carpool duties, I saw a couple of the neighborhood young women hanging out in front of my neighbor's house (the neighbor has a couple teenage boys...) I had to pull over and harass the girls a bit. Almost immediately, one of the girls says, "don't mind the way I look, I don't usually dress like this. It was dress like the 80's day at school today." Um, HELLO!!!! I was in high school during the 80's. (no wonder I didn't even notice anything amiss in her appearance, I thought she looked really cute!) Does that date me OR WHAT.!!??!! I remember when I was in high school and we had "dress like the 50's days" - and we thought it was so fun to dress up like the OLD people did back in the OLD days when THEY went to school. I don't think I ever figured I'd be on the OLD side of that picture... Where did the time go?

My dad used to sing a song... I don't know who sang it, or even the name of the song (although I think the name of the song is the same as the only line of the song I know...) and I don't care enough to take the time to look it up, but it may have to become my new theme song. It says, "I'm much too young to feel this dang old." (a slight change of wording, since I'm a bit of prude when it come to swearing...)

Well - that's it for tonight. this OLD woman has to get some sleep and it's past my bedtime!

Feeling Pickled???? blog give away

I am hoping to win a prize in Pike's Pickles week long blog give away. I get an extra entry if I tell you all here about it. (yes, all 10 of my "faithful readers.") Pop on over and register to win. BUT DON"T WIN THE ONE I WANT! just teasing - if you win, just let me read the books when you are done.

hanging in there

hey all - you are so good to me. I am hanging in. JEN - I'd love the name of the energy worker you see (or her recommendation for someone down here in happy valley:) Melissa - the book "feelings buried alive never die" is one of the ones that was recommended to me. I put in a request for it at the library and I'm waiting for it to come back in.

Last Saturday I had a great time going out to the movies with some friends. I haven't been to a movie in a Movie theatre since Aaron was a baby - yup, 8 years ago! My college and post mission buddy Mercy had some up for the weekend, and her sister Harmony set it all up. We saw the movie Errand of Angels and went to Baskin Robbins for ice cream afterwards. YUM YUM! The movie? It was just as "too loud"as I remember, and the plot was pretty slow paced and predictable, but since all 4 of us were returned missionaries, we laughed at many of the things that were "so true." It was a nice break from the kids, and it was wonderful to see and visit with Mercy again. It has been a LONG LONG time. TOO LONG. Let me tell you about Mercy. (now, I know as her sister, Harmony might have a different description, but this is my blog and my point of view, so that what you get - so there.) Mercy is the perfect blend of fun spontaneity and responsibility. She is someone you can totally count on to follow through and do whatever she has committed to do. At the same time, she is so much fun! Upbeat and enthusiastic about everything. She was a breathe of fresh air! (i have a picture to post, but I'll have to do it tomorrow because it is on the computer downstairs and I am just too lazy to go ALL the way down there. whine whine...)

Harm's friend Stacy came too, and let me tell you - she is a riot! I went to check out her blog the next day, and while I meant to just pop in and check it out, I spent over an hour reading and laughing right out loud. If you are in the mood for a laugh - go check her out.

Lets see - what else has been going on??? Katrina was sick (103 fever) last night, but seems fine today. Aaron has a 103.4 fever tonight. wonder what's going on... hoping Caleb doesn't get it.

Caleb isn't sleeping well lately. My best guess is that he gets hungry and wakes up. I feel like my milk is starting to slow down, but he won't take a bottle, so I don't know what to do for him. SO - I nurse him about every 2 hours all night! (yes, it makes me really tired and crabby.)

Took the van into the shop on Tuesday and it still isn't done. I still have a vehicle, since we have the truck, but it is such a pain to get kids in and out of the truck - I am ready to have my van back. Hopefully tomorrow.

I have been trying really hard to eat well this past week. Sprouts, salads, spinach, whole grains, more balanced meals in general, and less sugar. I might feel better - but with the added stress of sick kids and decreased sleep - it is too hard to tell for sure if I feel better or not.
We were rewarding the kids with "treats" when they did good things, but neither of us felt really good about that, but couldn't figure out anything better. We are now doing "beads." They each have a strand that they are collecting bead on, and when they fill it up, they get a Prize (like chuck-e-cheese or swimming or bowling) So far they are loving it - and it is good for me because I look for things all throughout the day that I can reward, which I wasn't doing before because I didn't want them to have more sugar.

Monday we went to the zoo and had a great time as a family. I'll post a bunch of pictures, but this post is already too long, so I'll make it another post. LATER -

Strange...

I went to day to a holistic healer person. (don't know what to call her; she does Cranio-sacral Therapy, energy balancing, she's a "master herbalist," does generational healing and nutritional counseling... and more.
Why did I go? you might ask. I just haven't felt WELL lately. as you know from my blog, I've been fighting anxiety, depression, and a general feeling of the blahs. Nothing to specifically point too, but I knew something was off. I picked up her flier in a health food store/cafe a while back and have been meaning to call her for a while now. Her flier says, in part, "using the Holistic Health Detective Method, we can reveal your body's priorities for healing and balancing the Body, Mind, and Spirit..."

Apparently my priority is fixing my diet I got a whole lot of Nutritional counseling. (tim will be glad to hear that) According to the energy testing she did on me, I am deficient in Iron, Calcium, and magnesium, and my nervous system is shot. (thus explaining the low energy, restless leg, occasional muscle twitches and spasms, etc... She gave me some instruction on herbs and foods that I need to include/increase in my diet, and some instruction on "eating from the earth," everything in its "season." She gave me some books to read and encouraged me to spend some time studying herbs and food.

She also "read" from my "energy" that I need to take time for me. That my spirit keeps saying "when is it my turn?" Many of the things she said in this regard were right on the money, but the "skeptic" in me kept thinking - "this same thing could be said for just about every mother of young children. Just because she's right on the mark, doesn't mean she can really just "READ" my spirit."
Anyway, one thing she said was that I need to focus on identifying "gifts" that I have been given. That she saw in me a lot of "artistic" tendencies that I had basically done nothing with. Not necessarily art as in painting, but art as in creating things.
Her 'testing' said that I don't believe it is okay to say NO, and that while I believe that God loves me, that I don't love myself. Then she did some strange thing where first I was "centered" then she tested to see if I was "fully present" (apparently I wasn't, I was only about 85% there, so then she had me do a breathing exercise - this might have been the "centering" part, I forget...the she called the rest of me to come - I can't really explain it, but there was a slight difference in how I felt, slightly heavier or something like that) Then she had me keep doing the breathing thing, while she said something about removing the untrue belief that I am not lovable or something like that. Then after waiting a minutes, she said something about not leaving a void where the untruth had been and needing to fill it with truth. She then said some things about loving myself and other stuff, but I really can't remember what she said (hope it wasn't important to remember) It was so weird, because as she finished saying this stuff, I felt the strangest sensation. Like i was spinning, and like my insides were lightening or melting or something. It almost felt like I wasn't gong to be able to lift my arms or control my moments for a minute. I felt a little dizzy'ish - but not really. It was so strange. I wish I understood more.

Anyway - after all this, I felt fine and good and I felt like I could take on this challenge and learn what I needed to do to change my diet and help my body (and my family) be healthier and as a result, be happier. I felt his way for like 3 hours, until just now when I got home. As soon as I walked into the house, I felt depressed and overwhelmed and like it was all just too much to overcome.

Am I Crazy or what? I am still trying to process it. Even as I type this, I feel like it is too personal to blog about, but I need an outlet to write it down and in so doing, helpfully it will help me recall more specifics and give me place to see my growth. I know I could just write it on paper in my journal, but really I'm feeling quite lost and alone'ish. (not exactly those emotions, but that's the closest I can come...) Somehow by blogging it, I know I am sharing it, without the vulnerability of sharing it in person. does that make sense? (I don't even need you to comment about it (but feel free) -I know that you are there and sharing it with me, (maybe thinking I'm a little nuts) and that helps.

NOW WHAT???


(thanks for listening - that's what I needed.)

gift of tongues anyone???

After she should have been sleeping, Katrina came in and brought a note for me and a note for Tim. We said thank you and sent her back to bed, then tried to decipher the notes. (usually we have her read them to us while they are fresh in her mind so that we know what they say - this morning when I asked her to rad them to us, she could only read parts of them - so she made up a whole bunch of other stuff) Unfortunately I seem to be lacking in the "gift of tongues." Here they are for your deciphering fun:

MINE - typed as written :

Mom
ILVITWNY
KS[scribbles out B] D
SGrADW (the r on this line looks just like a T)
YPAWTHME
ILVYY
LVME
THS/SDWEIS
DUN THKMOM

(translation as best as I can get - "Mom, I love it when you kiss? ? Grandpa went home. I love you. You love me. This story is done. Thanks mom."

Here is Tim's note -

DAD/I LVYO
I NOMISES
INS S BGSM
SMR FR Y T I N
OHTOKTADW
TSDWS AD
MI SAPSADNBS
ILVDID BIN

Translation: "Dad, I love you. I know my seasons. Spring, Summer, Fall. I know how to count and ??? (I think it might say write words) and my shapes and numbers. I love dad (misspelled maybe) ?


As I was typing them out, I figured out a few more bits and pieces. when I would say the right thing, Trina would light up and say "You did it mom, you remembered what I wrote!"
I think she is amazing. Ya - she missed most of her vowels and middle sounds, but I think it's great that she is writing independently and that she gets most of her beginning sounds and a lot of her ending ones... We need to work on putting spaces in between words (that's what the few backslashes are - she's trying to put in "spaces") - that would help a lot, but hey, she's only 4 and she's self taught, so I'm not complaining! Besides, it keeps me trying to develop my "spiritual gift - the gift of tongues"

School Days

Yesterday was Aaron's first day back to school. I hope this is a great year for him. I am just praying that his reading skills kick into gear and he takes off in that arena. Just about everything in school in affected by reading ability. It's hard to do the math if you can't read the question.... spelling is a super challenge... etc. Aaron loves music, art, and PE. (does anyone else see the pattern here - not much reading, if any, required for these subjects)

We carpool with another family in our neighborhood. She drives the kids to school and I pick them up. I got there to do pick up, and was hoping that the new "pick up zones" would make the process simpler. No such luck. I expect it to get better once everyone gets it figured out, but yesterday was a nightmare. After I waited in line for 10 minutes to GET to the yellow zone - I find TJ and Alec (the other boys in the carpool) waiting, but no sign of Aaron. TJ informed me that Aaron was in the BACK of the school, in the orange zone! WHAT??? So I drive around the block to the back of the school. NO AARON. I drive back around to the front of the school. FINALLY, I find Aaron, just coming out of the school. I guess some how he got told that he was in the Orange zone so he went there. (he argued about it with me all the way home - insisting that I had to pick up TJ and Alec in the Yellow zone, then drive around back to get him in the Orange zone. Hopefully, I convinced him that I know what I'm talking about and he'll be waiting in the yellow zone after school today:)

I found a preschool for Katrina and signed her up. I think it is going to be way too easy for her, and I wish it was a more academically challenging program, but the price was acceptable, location was closer, a nearby person is signed up for the same session, so we can carpool, and the teacher said she'll send home extra "homework" to challenge Trina a bit more as needed. any which way - Katrina is SO excited about it. She is totally ready for school right now. These September birthdays are a BUMMER!

I really do wish that I was more organized and had better follow through. Home schooling would be a good thing for Aaron - working on his level, studying things that he is interested in, without the peer comparison/influence making him feel "stupid." (his word, not mine) It would also be great for Katrina, because there's no calendar date that would say how and when she could start learning. I am getting better over all, but I'm still not ready for that. I had a hard enough time doing "school time" during the summer. and that was only a hour per day of reading time, math practice, and practicing the piano. I hired a neighborhood girl to come in and be my "helper" for that hour, and in this manner, we did get it done most of the days. But toward the end of the summer, it was a mere shadow of what it started out to be... Oh well - we each have our own talents, and this is NOT one of mine!

It's a lot quieter around here with Aaron gone during the day, and I need to get off the computer and get some work done. (4 loads of laundry are waiting to be folded - I'm being such a laundry slacker lately...)

Later -

Missed me???

Holy smokes! I just saw that it's been 12 days since my last post! Where does the time go????

I feel like I'm so busy, yet it seems to be "busy doing a whole lot of nothing." This post will be a hodge-podge of stuff, just in a quick effort to update and reconnect...

Aaron's baptism - Aaron was baptized on August 2nd. It was very nice. Lots of family and friends were able to be there. Aaron loved being baptized and confirmed a member of the church, and he especially loved being the center of attention.

Olympics - I'M LOVING IT!!! I am really tired because I just have to stay up and see them. Last night I was up until midnight, because I HAD to watch the finals in the mens team gymnastics. (tonight I will be up watching the womens team gymnastics) That men's team... I am SO PROUD of them! They did a great job. All of them are first time Olympians, with two of them being last minute alternates filling in for the team "stars."
and swimming... the men taking the gold in the 400 relay. OH MAN!!! what a race. I still get excited just thinking about it. what a thrill to see them win that race.
For FHE last night - can you guess what the lesson was? It was an Olympic theme of course. Tim talked about how the athletes have to focus and work hard, even when they are tired and frustrated and might feel like it is too hard. They just have to practice and practice and practice. Then he talked about how we have to practice and work hard to accomplish things in our own lives. we each set goals for things we want to "practice."

End of Summer - I can't believe that school starts next Monday. Aaron is totally not ready to go back to school. I finally got Aaron's school clothes ordered. Hope they get here in time. I still haven't decided about Katrina's preschool. (I am the master of procrastination.)

Laura's visit - my sister and her family came down from Montana last week. It was so great to see them again. Katrina was so cute playing with her cousin Adam. She cried every time they had to say good by to each other. We really miss having them closer, but I know they are where they are supposed to be right now, and they are a great influence and needed family in their small branch up there.

Caleb - Where oh where has my baby boy gone??? Did I ever post that Caleb update? I don't think I did. Oh well. Caleb has been scooching around for a long while now, and the past 2- 3 weeks he's got the crawling on hands and knees thing going. His new thing (past 2 weeks, is pulling himself up to standing. Last night I was folding laundry (while watching Olympics, of course) and he stood up, using the laundry basket, then pushed it while walking behind. I am NOT ready for him to grow this fast. He is just so fun and sweet and adorable.

Singing in church - our family sang in church yesterday. The Primary presidency was speaking and the topic was the purpose of primary. We sang "teach me to walk in the light." The kids did a great job. Bryan fell asleep about 5 - 10 minutes before we sang, so he missed the singing, which is too bad since I think he is just adorable, but he's not so adorable when he's been woken up, so we let that sleeping dog lie.

Ward Camp out - Last weekend was the annual ward cook out/camp out. We stayed over night and had a good time. The weather looked pretty overcast, and sure enough, it started raining as we drove up, but we put up the tent anyway - in the rain. Wouldn't you know it, about 10 minutes after we got the tents up, it stopped raining. (guess we should have waited to put them up eh?)

Tim working from home - Tim's work is being painted this week and last, so he got permission to telecommute while they are painting. Tim set up a second computer upstairs for me, but then after 2 days his laptop motherboard died, so I didn't have a computer for a couple of days. It's kind of hard to have Tim home but "not home" if you know what I mean. It has been SUPER great having zero commute time!

Depression - doing better. Still tired and dragging a bit (late nights aren't helping, but I figure the Summer Olympics only come around every 4 years right??) but not feeling sad and so down on myself.

Is that enough hodge-podge to catch you back up on my simple life? I need to jump in the shower(that rank smell you keep getting whiff of??? yup, that's me!) and take a stab at the day's "to do" list. Remember that sister I visit teach who said she probably wouldn't tell us if she needed help? (That last day I posted) Well, I'm scheduled to go visit her again today. I know - good for me huh? It's not even the last week of the month yet!

Have a great day!

Nobody freak... I'm really OK

Charlotte, thanks for the kind comments in response to my "liar liar" post. Now I'm worried that people are going to freak out and think I've gone completely over the edge... Please, don't call the police, DCFS, or the suicide hot line, I'm really doing ok - (at least today anyway:) I would not have been able to post so "openly" if I was still in the "depths of despair." Its one of my quirks, I can only be open about where I've been AFTER I'm out - or at least on my way out...

Even when I am depressed, I am still cognizant enough to recognize that it is the depression talking - not really me. (That's how I rationalize not treating it thus far... when I can no longer differentiate between the depression talking and reality, then it will be a problem that needs to be addressed. Of course, if that is the case and I am unable to differentiate... i won't know that, will I??? HHHmmmm yet another depression catch 22. Oh well.

HI HO HI HO it's back to the kitchen I go!

liar, liar, pants on fire...

Yesterday I went visiting teaching. At the end of the visit, I asked the normal question, "blah blah blah, is there anything we can do for you?" She answered (you know what's coming don't you?) "no, everything is just fine." My companion asked, "would you tell us if there was something you needed?" Our sweet sister (age 70 or 80 something) laughed and said, "probably not." I just had to laugh, because the night before, my visiting teacher popped in for a few minutes to say hello and drop off a plate of cupcakes. We stood at the door talking for a few minutes, and she asked the "visiting teaching question,"

"how are you doing?"

It's been another rough couple weeks for me, and everything inside me wanted to scream, "I'm depressed; I'm fat; I'm ugly; my house is a total disaster; my children are loud, obnoxious, and disobedient; my yard makes us look like totally trashy people; I want to move because I'm sick of my house, our ward, and the neighborhood; I'm sick of cooking and cleaning and laundry that is NEVER done! I am a horrible wife and a horrible mother! I hate my life!"

Instead of blurting all that out, I smiled and said, "Everything is just great, thanks."

You remember that grade school saying mentioned in the post title? I suspect that the proverbial telephone wire has long since snapped due excessive weight hanging on it, but come on... what are we do do? Can't you just see the look on my poor Visiting teacher's face if I had let it all out? Besides, what could she do about it? Be honest back? Can't you just imagine a response like this,
"Stop self medicating with chocolate and junk food, eat more healthy food and get more exercise, get off your butt and clean your house instead of complaining about it, spend less time on the computer and more time playing with your children, be more organized, go to the temple more frequently, and make reading your scriptures and saying your prayers top priority. THEN, if you are still struggling with depression, go talk to a professional and get the help you need!"

Ya - I already have the answers. In fact, I got up Tuesday and went to work. I had a good day tackling the chaos in my house, and it really did help. (not that you could tell by looking at the house, but I felt better for working at it.) Now it's time for me to get off the computer and work some more.

To all you other liars out there (I know I'm not the the only one) - have a great day and I'll meet you at the telephone wire.

A pondering...

This morning I was reading in the Ensign and I read something that really me think, and I just thought I'd share.

“Testimony is to know and to feel, conversion is to do and to become.” (Elder Oaks)

I've been thinking about a lot of things lately, and this quote was an answer to many things I had been pondering.

I have a testimony of Jesus Christ. I have a testimony of His church. I have a testimony of His Gospel and His prophet on the earth today. Apparently what I do NOT have is a solid CONVERSION. In general, I do the basics, but not consistently enough and not with true full purpose of heart. I would say that I have a solid testimony, (I know and feel) but I really am lacking in the "becoming."

So - ponder with me if you wish. I am (once again) choosing to become converted. To BECOME all that I was sent here to become. To spend the rest of my life APPLYING my testimony and working harder at DOING what I need to do, but this time with more of a focus on letting that DOING work within me to help me BECOME.

Do that make sense? Oh well, if not; it makes sense to me, and since it's a personal commitment, I'm the only it needs to make sense to. Ya'll have a great day!

busy busy

Oh man - where does the time go? It's been a week since the birthday party post and while I feel like I've been SO BUSY, don't ask me what I've done, 'cause I'm not sure I could pinpoint anything. (truth be told, I've spend too much time reading blogs and surfing on the computer, but we'll let that go for now...)

Last night we went down to Shayne and Angela's house for a 24th of July get together. (my family) The kids had a great time playing, jumping on the tramp, and lighting fireworks; and we grown ups had a great time eating and visiting.

I got an email from Aaron's school a couple days ago and was shocked to realize that school starts in less than a month. Where did the summer go??? I need to get busy and order his clothes. (I love uniform policies! Not only does it help with behavior and feelings of inclusion in school - it really makes it easier to do the shopping! Speaking of shopping, I need to go out and get him a cub scout shirt. Now that he is 8 we are embarking into the great world of scouting. He was able to do to cub scout day camp the weekend before his birthday, and last week they went and took a tour of the police station. I think he'll love scouting - hope his den mother doesn't go nuts trying to keep him under semi-control.

I am trying to figure out what to do for Katrina in regard to preschool. She misses the school cut of by 2 weeks, so she has another year before starting school. She is totally ready to go. she wants to go. She is reading basic words and books, and she loves it. I loved the preschool that we sent Aaron to, but it is a 20 minute drive away, each way, (which means if I try to come home after dropping her off, then drive back to pick her up - let's just say it adds a lot of time, and gas money to the scenario) and I'm not sure I want to commit to that. I'm looking at one in Springville. It's about the same tuition cost, and closer, but still... What I really think is that I need to be disciplined and do "preschool" at home. It would save lots of money, and be good time spent together. I just know myself so well, and I don't believe I would follow through.


Life just keeps flying along. I better get going and get going on my work for the day.

Happy Birthday Aaron!!!

How time flies! 8 years ago, right at this very moment, I was in the Labor and Delivery room, being stitched up after what ended up being a very long, painful, traumatizing (for me) delivery of my sweet little baby boy. (I'll spare you the details, but it only took them just over an hour to sew me back together, if that gives you any indication of how things went)

Here we are, leaving the hospital with Aaron.


This is Aaron at 1 week old
(I know it's not the greatest picture. We didn't have a digital camera at the time,
and we just have a few scanned photos for me to chose from.)



Today we celebrated with a party in the park - with friends, games, water balloons, root beer floats, and cake. (in case you can't tell - the cake is a ZOO. (I should have forgone on the colored sprinkle walkway, since it muddies up the overall look, but Aaron loved it, and that's really all that matters! and it really did look a little better in person, but you'll just have to take my word on that one) We then had one of Aaron's favorite meals, Hawaiian Haystacks, for dinner.

This is the group of kids at todays party (minus Bryan and TJ (friend) who somehow missed being in the photo)

It was a good day.

Since Aaron is now 8, I will tell you 8 things I love about Aaron.
1) Aaron is very creative
2) Aaron is a natural leader (not always for the right, but we are working on that)
3) Aaron loves music and has natural talent (spoken like a true mother)
4) Aaron has a fun and adventurous spirit
5) Aaron has the ability to be a wonderful and caring big brother (he may not always choose to use this gift, but he definitely has it)
6) Aaron loves animals, nature, and the world around him
7) Aaron loves to laugh and to make others laugh (not always appropriate during primary or school, but a gift none the less)
8) He is my son.

I love you Aaron and I am proud of you!

And now I leave you with a few other photos of Aaron

12 (or was it 14???) stitches after impaling his armpit while climbing to the top of a flag pole.

What a handsome boy on the first day of school last year



What a goof ball. He and Trina were turning themselves into monsters. I came into the room to find this - and NO, it was not a washable marker, in case you are wondering!

Ya just gotta love this kid! and I do.