Monday, February 28, 2011

I am READY to change MY life!

last week, one of my bloggy friends posted about a free course she had just participated in, and she is going to repeat the course in March.  It sounded like it was really helpful for her in helping identify and prioritize her priorities.  She was able to identify and streamline some of her life goals, and more importantly, she was able to make PROGRESS in many areas.  Pop on Over to Karlene's site if you want to read about her success last month.

Since her first post, she has decided - in true Karlene style - to make it a PARTY!.  I had already signed up to participate before she even announced the party, and now I am inviting YOU to join in - if you want...  no pressure here, you are welcome to just cheer me on instead!

Here's some basic info from Karlene's blog:

What: Chalene Johnson's 30 Day Challenge to Master Organization and Achieve Your Goals

When: March 1st

Where: Online; daily e-mails with links to short videos.

Cost: FREE

I'll be honest - I'm a bit nervous.  I think that is because I really do want to make some pretty significant changes in my life, but I just keep FIZZLING out, and I am afraid of trying something and feeling like I've failed AGAIN!  But as they say, if you fall, ya just gotta get back on the horse and keep trying.

So - if you happen to read this today, and you want to play with us - sign up NOW cause it starts tomorrow and I think you have to be signed up by the 1st to do it in March.  and if you want to join the Karlene party - go to her site and follow her directions.

Wish me LUCK! 

Friday, February 25, 2011

hi ho, hi ho

it's back to the calorie count I go...

SO a while ago, maybe last summer'ish, I decided it was time to get more serious about losing this extra 30 -35 lbs I've been carrying around.  I topped out at around 174.  but the trend was slowing creeping up and up, and I knew I needed to do something before it got any higher.

I had success right way and dropped 5-7 lbs.  then it got harder.  I wasn't on any specific "diet," since my observations have shown me that "diets" don't work long term because you aren't changing the lifestyles, habits, and mental/emotional processes that are the real problem.  I continued to try to eat more healthy foods and eat less junky snacks.  I finally made it down to the 160 range.  lowest weight in at 157, but I usually  bounce up and down between 159 and 163.  I figure that with those numbers in mind, I feel comfortable saying I've lost 10 lbs.  While that is good, and it is progress, I have been at this plateau for too long and I need to see success and progress again...

Tim introduced me to a free online program that helps you count calories.  I happen to really HATE counting calories, but it really does help to see exactly what I'm shoveling into my mouth and how those food choices add up calorie wise.  I tracked really well for a couple weeks, then fizzled out.  Today I have recommitted myself to start tracking and counting again.  If nothing else, it makes me think twice before I eat snacks, cause I know I have to go in and track it.

I have been reading the story of one gal's weigh loss journey on a blog that I love to read and often find very inspiring.  Amber's story of taking back control of her weight and life is inspirational.  I CAN do this... I just need to BE committed and STAY committed to the little steps.

I think an essential part of being able to accomplish this goal of mine is that I need to know WHY it is a goal.  Why is this important to me, or is it really that important???

With that in mind, here are my reasons:

** My family has a history of diabetes.  My oldest bro got diabetes when he was 7 years old.  my next bro got it in his late 20's.  my mom and dad both got in the last couple of years.  My grandma had diabetes.  My sister had gestational diabetes with one of her pregnancies.  I figure I am a ticking time bomb and that it isn't a matter of IF I'll get it, but WHEN.  Every day that I stay over my "ideal body weight" or "healthy BMI"  or whatever scale you want to look at, I shorten the time I have before that time bomb explodes and I find myself dealing with daily diabetes issues.

** I want to set good example for my children.  I want them to be healthy and to have healthy body images.  I already hear my kids saying negative things about their "fat bodies" and I am fairly confident they got that from me!  I want them to know that it is important to follow the Word of Wisdom and to take care of your body, but that it is not about being "SKINNY,"  it is about being HEALTHY and fit.

**  I want to like what I see in the mirror.  I have always struggled with low self esteem and poor  body image.  (having a couple "boys" that I "loved" and thought I would marry, tell me that I wasn't "pretty enough" didn't really help.)  I know that losing weight isn't going to be the "cure" for this.  There are lots of skinny-minnies out there who don't like what they see in the mirror, but I love what Dr. Laura says about self-esteem.  She says that you gain self-esteem by DOING things that are worthy of that esteem.  (my words, not hers)  That if you want to feel good about yourself, you have to DO things that will help you gain that self respect.  You have to set worthy goals and then accomplish them.  I want to look good in my clothes again.  Heck - I want to FIT into my size 12 pants again!!!  (the size 10's seem TOO far out of reach right now)

**  I do believe that our bodies are a gift from God and that we are charged with taking good care of them.  While I do not have any trouble with the "thous shalt nots" of the Word of Wisdom, I cannot honestly say that I live the law, when I abuse my body by taking garbage into it and consistently overindulging, including eating too much of the "good" foods.  There are many blessings promised to those who live this law.  I want to start reaping those blessings.

**  At my last physical, my cholesterol levels came back too high.  I told them that I didn't want to go on medication.  I wanted 6 months to try to lower the levels myself first.  Apparently, high cholesterol runs through my family too...  fun for me!  (I'm hoping that my levels were high because my tests were done at the end of December, and I made and ATE SO MUCH toffee and peanut brittle that month.  We are talking pretty much STRAIGHT BUTTER!  (yummy though)  SO I'm hoping that skewed my numbers a bit :)

I think that is about it.  I know that this has to be a gradual, daily, lifestyle, change, or it won't last.  The reasons are life-long reasons.  (as opposed to something like "I want to be skinny for my 20 year HS reunion"  or "I want to be skinny for my trip to Hawaii"  - I tried both of those and they didn't work.

I want to be HEALTHY for the rest of my life so that I FEEL good, LOOK good, and can DO good.

Monday, February 21, 2011

one room...

I spent much of the morning in Katrina's room, helping her rearrange some of the furniture and cleaning everything.  It looks so nice in there.  So open and uncluttered.  I find that I keep wandering away from what I am supposed to be doing back in there  -  just to sit in the ONLY clean room in the house.  It's just nice and peaceful.

This is my kitchen when it is picked up and clean. (at least it is clean by my (fairly low) standards)  This is how I LIKE it and how I WANT it to be! 

I finally took a picture one day after I got the kitchen clean - so I would have evidence that it DID get done!

I remember all too clearly, one particular day, a few months ago, when I worked my tail off ALL DAY long.  When I went to bed (exhausted) that night, EVERY ROOM in the house was picked up, vacuumed or mopped, toilets clean, windows washed, etc...  The whole house, all at one time - WAS CLEAN!  I was THRILLED!

The very next day???????????
here's the kitchen - in all it's messiness

the front room:  complete with jackets, broom, mop, vacuum, cushions off chair, and some kind of leaf concoction all over the floor...

entry way/stairs - kids backpacks, 1/2 eaten apple, balloon, poster board from school project...

main bath... a book, shoes,  a coat, sink full of water with rocks soaking in it, water all over counter and floor, hairbrush, towel on sink...
Trina's room - MESS

Kitchen floor - mess

 I have more pictures, one of every room in the house, in fact.   EVERY ROOM (literally) in the house had stuff on the floor.  I was so so SO frustrated.  I took pictures to prove that is isn't just that I NEVER EVER clean... it's the fact that no matter how much good I accomplish - my four darling children - whom I love dearly (sometimes I just don't like them very much) can UNDO it WAY faster than I can EVER keep up!

OK - thanks for listening to me gripe.  I think I'll go back into Katrina's room to get myself centered again, then pick another room to tackle before it's time to make dinner.  Maybe tonight I can go to bed with TWO clean rooms!

P.S.  (added at bedtime.)  Katrina's room is still clean (with a small effort after 2 of her friends came over to play this afternoon, one of whom is the dress up queen), front room and stairs are done, and kitchen is about 98% done.  Not too shabby for as hopeless as I was feeling

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

so cute...

Katrina got a note from the boy that sits next to her in class.  I thought it was so cute I just had to record it.  Here it is, with all spelling and punctuation (or lack thereof) "in tact"

"Deer Katrina I like you be koss your fonee and be koss your smart"

Also in the same stack of papers, I found a "valentine" that Katrina had made for Aaron (as in her big brother Aaron)  This was in response to last Friday when Katrina and Aaron cooked up the idea that he would come down to her class and be her show and tell.

"Dear Aaron  thank you so much for being my show and tell.  I rilly apreshat it."

 It's nice to see physical evidence that they do love each other,  since sometimes they don't act like it...  Actually, they aren't that bad.  Most of the time the get along pretty well and enjoy playing together.  just for fun, here's a small collection of pictures (spanning 6 years) of Katrina and her awesome "big brother."

I hope they always choose to show love to each other.  They are very different from each other in so many ways, and I love them both very much!