Friday, August 29, 2008

Strange...

I went to day to a holistic healer person. (don't know what to call her; she does Cranio-sacral Therapy, energy balancing, she's a "master herbalist," does generational healing and nutritional counseling... and more.
Why did I go? you might ask. I just haven't felt WELL lately. as you know from my blog, I've been fighting anxiety, depression, and a general feeling of the blahs. Nothing to specifically point too, but I knew something was off. I picked up her flier in a health food store/cafe a while back and have been meaning to call her for a while now. Her flier says, in part, "using the Holistic Health Detective Method, we can reveal your body's priorities for healing and balancing the Body, Mind, and Spirit..."

Apparently my priority is fixing my diet I got a whole lot of Nutritional counseling. (tim will be glad to hear that) According to the energy testing she did on me, I am deficient in Iron, Calcium, and magnesium, and my nervous system is shot. (thus explaining the low energy, restless leg, occasional muscle twitches and spasms, etc... She gave me some instruction on herbs and foods that I need to include/increase in my diet, and some instruction on "eating from the earth," everything in its "season." She gave me some books to read and encouraged me to spend some time studying herbs and food.

She also "read" from my "energy" that I need to take time for me. That my spirit keeps saying "when is it my turn?" Many of the things she said in this regard were right on the money, but the "skeptic" in me kept thinking - "this same thing could be said for just about every mother of young children. Just because she's right on the mark, doesn't mean she can really just "READ" my spirit."
Anyway, one thing she said was that I need to focus on identifying "gifts" that I have been given. That she saw in me a lot of "artistic" tendencies that I had basically done nothing with. Not necessarily art as in painting, but art as in creating things.
Her 'testing' said that I don't believe it is okay to say NO, and that while I believe that God loves me, that I don't love myself. Then she did some strange thing where first I was "centered" then she tested to see if I was "fully present" (apparently I wasn't, I was only about 85% there, so then she had me do a breathing exercise - this might have been the "centering" part, I forget...the she called the rest of me to come - I can't really explain it, but there was a slight difference in how I felt, slightly heavier or something like that) Then she had me keep doing the breathing thing, while she said something about removing the untrue belief that I am not lovable or something like that. Then after waiting a minutes, she said something about not leaving a void where the untruth had been and needing to fill it with truth. She then said some things about loving myself and other stuff, but I really can't remember what she said (hope it wasn't important to remember) It was so weird, because as she finished saying this stuff, I felt the strangest sensation. Like i was spinning, and like my insides were lightening or melting or something. It almost felt like I wasn't gong to be able to lift my arms or control my moments for a minute. I felt a little dizzy'ish - but not really. It was so strange. I wish I understood more.

Anyway - after all this, I felt fine and good and I felt like I could take on this challenge and learn what I needed to do to change my diet and help my body (and my family) be healthier and as a result, be happier. I felt his way for like 3 hours, until just now when I got home. As soon as I walked into the house, I felt depressed and overwhelmed and like it was all just too much to overcome.

Am I Crazy or what? I am still trying to process it. Even as I type this, I feel like it is too personal to blog about, but I need an outlet to write it down and in so doing, helpfully it will help me recall more specifics and give me place to see my growth. I know I could just write it on paper in my journal, but really I'm feeling quite lost and alone'ish. (not exactly those emotions, but that's the closest I can come...) Somehow by blogging it, I know I am sharing it, without the vulnerability of sharing it in person. does that make sense? (I don't even need you to comment about it (but feel free) -I know that you are there and sharing it with me, (maybe thinking I'm a little nuts) and that helps.

NOW WHAT???


(thanks for listening - that's what I needed.)

9 comments:

Charlotte said...

I don't think you're nuts.

I have a (very normal) aunt who swears by cranil-sacral therapy.

Hang in there. You have quite a few different things you can focus on now, which gives you options, which is awesome. But you certainly don't need to work on them all at once. Maybe just a little here and there, as you can work it in.

And yeah--you are GREAT at creating things.

Sandra said...

The first time you hear the truth that you have been suppressing, it is a little weird. I am a big believer in natural healing and holistic approaches if possible. However, I am also a sceptic because I do not ever want to replace God's truth with Satan's counterfit and sometimes it is easy to listen to the wrong thing. So for me, I do a lot of praying about what has been said to me. Soon, you will learn to discern what is true and right and what is not and only you can do that for you.

But, when your spirit has been put aside and you have lost who you are while you are being wife and mommy, it is hard sometimes to reclaim. But just as in the airplane you have to place the oxygen mask on your self first, you need to nourish who you are so that you can nourish your kiddos- you don't want to give them a part mommy. This balance is the hardest one to achieve because as women we think we have to give until we have nothing left to give, but that it is selfish to replenish, but how can we give out of an empty bucket? We have to go to the well sometime and I think it takes us too long to come to that.

Eating right is HUGE in this. If you don't nourish your body, you cannot nourish your spirit and then you cannont nourish your family. Don't let it all get too huge. Do it a little bit at a time and you will get there. Find what works for you (I like flylady.net and housefairy.com mixed with something that I do)

Anyway, I know what you are saying/feeling and you might feel this way for a bit. Remember you are:
1. A daughter of God
2. A woman
3. A wife
4. A mother
in that order and you need to be nourished in that order. Take care of her.

Karlene said...

I've done a lot of "strange" holistic, healing type things. Some of them seem to help, others not so much. I believe that if it makes you feel better, then you should keep doing it. :)

Jennifer @ Fruit of My Hands said...

I have an energy worker that I see and the work she does is amazing, leaving me feeling cleansed emotionally after a visit. My husband, who is relatively skeptical about these kinds of things, will even admit that there is a complete change in my persona (for the better) after I see her.

I would suggest that you do some research on your own about the techniques she's using, and why they are supposed to work. Understanding the basis of the work she's doing may help you to decide whether she's being successful. (I always notice immediate results and can feel the energy changing in my body, I'd be leery of someone who, after visiting them, I feel worse within even a few hours. I usually feel elated for a couple of weeks after a session.)

I really like the Brimhall method because through his system with the six interferences, you can test to see where you should start. Sometimes for example, a nutritional deficiency is there, but is caused by an emotional issue that is sapping out the nutrients. You can take a ton of supplements, OR you can get to the bottom of the emotional issue and let the nutrition work itself out when there's no longer a draw on your resources. (Usually I have found that if its a nutritional issue, there are one or maybe 2 deficiencies. I find that if we come up with a laundry list of herbs to take, there really is something else going on that needs to be addressed first.)

The other thought I had was that there is a possibility that what is causing some of your issues is some type of toxin in your home--maybe something you are allergic to like mold or dust or animal dander that is really the root of the issue.

Harmony said...

Sorry I didn't get to talk to you more the other night, or I might have known about this before I read your blog.

Did she tell you anything you didn't already know? If she did, how much of it could she have guessed right?

Did she give you any concrete suggestions that you felt comfortable and/or confident enough with to give them a try?

I'm a little skeptical, so forgive me if my questions aren't helpful. That being said, I believe in taking truth from wherever I can find it. I agree with Sandra--pray about it and apply what you feel good about. Discard the rest, especially the parts that just cause confusion.

Stop and smell the Daisies said...

I agree with Sandra and Harmony. A little skepticism is good, because you don't want to accept Satan's counterfeights. I am not familiar with cranil-sacral therapy, but I am familiar with kineseology/muscle testing, and I am amazed by it. I also have a book called, "Feelings Buried Alive Never Die". I like it because it helps me overcome illness through my thoughts. May sound strange, but it seems to me that it goes right along with agency. We get to choose how we feel. Certain feelings can cause us physical pain or illness, but through choosing good feelings and thoughts, we can overcome those bad thoughts and feelings. It's really about conscience(sp?) effort to choose our feelings...it's kind of complicated to explain, but if you are interested, I would be happy to tell you more about it. Or you can just check out the book yourself.

I hope you feel better.

hi, it's me! melissa c said...

I am so glad you are writing about this. I don't think it is too person but you know me. How do we help each other if we don't get personal?

I do believe in energy workers. I think they have a gift. A gift from God to help the rest of us.

Energy is what God uses to create EVERYTHING.

You cannot destroy it. It goes SOMEWHERE if you change it.

Your house may need an emotional face lift. If that feel good energy left when you entered your house, just ask yourself what it is about your house you don't like? Colors? Arrangement?

Start changing things little by little. Lighter colors will lift spirits more. It's proven.

Reds actually enhance anger. NEver have a red bedroom. I painted mine light blue. It always soothes me when I walk in.

Also, get a book on feng shue or how ever it's spelled. THat may work. WHo knows?

I would go back to this lady often and learn how she does it so you can do it yourself.

I would REALLY like to know how it is working. Email me and we can keep in better contact.

I sure love you and have the same feelings as you. You are NOT alone in how you feel.

Stefany said...

YEAH ! I am so glad you stopped by. Its nice to meet you. The drawing on all of the days doesn't end until Saturday so you can still sign up for all of the days drawings as well. Invite your friends too. GOOD LUCK!!

Shellie said...

Sounds interesting. I liked the ideas of others to pray about what you heard and apply what you feel good about after that. I'm not surprised the high ended when you came home, my house does that to me, too! :) Maybe there is something that will help make the house more inviting and uplifting for you, or a problem like allergies that needs to be addressed, as some others suggested but maybe you have to accept a different kind of house than what you expect in your mind, like a house full of rambunctious kids will NEVER be a designer home! Sometimes I just need an attitude adjustment and realistic expectations. I'm not sure how the therapy works, but I think a lot of the advice was still pretty good.