Broken

I sure wish I knew what was WRONG with me!  Sometimes I wish I could just pull my brain out of my head and swap it out with someone else.  Then again - Who know what I’d be swapping for - maybe their brain has other funky stuff going on inside of it.  I guess i should just learn to deal with  (and improve) the brain I have.

I woke up at 5, but didn’t get up.  I fell back asleep.  Finally got up at 5:30.  When I was trying to say my prayers - I COULD NOT keep my mind on track.  I’m guessing it drive Heavenly Father CRAZY when he tries to listen to me, my mind wanders and off I go…

Then I was having trouble opening my computer - once I finally did, I committed the cardinal sin…  I opened up my email and facebook instead of my “miracle morning” documents in google drive.  The next thing I knew, I had wasted another hour.

I did finally kick myself in the backside and I read my Book of Mormon, did my Spanish lesson, and now I’m journaling.  I don’t know exactly what happened.  Why I lost motivation.  Why it isn’t so “miraculous” for me anymore…  I scrolled back to the beginning of February and reread what I had written, about the benefits I had been seeing.  It’s strange, but even as I know I wrote those things myself and they were completely truthful - I can’t even get my mind back to that place right now.  It is hard to believe I was IN that place or that I can get BACK to it again.  Maybe I should start taking some herbal supplements for depression again.  I don’t know.