a better day

I hope I don’t jinx myself by saying this, but today was better!  It was still hard to get up…  but I was up by 5:15.  And I had a pretty cool personal experience I would like to share.

In order to tell the story, I need to tell explain some backstory.  Last week I saw a message on FB from a sister in the ward.  It said, “Is there anyone who could possible pick up my son from Centennial (a middle school in Provo) at 1:45?  I got called into work and can’t get there.”  I messaged back that if no one else could I do it, I could help out, but I would be late getting there, since I don’t get off work until between 1:40 - 1:50, and then it’s a good 25 minute drive from my work in Springville to the other side of Provo where this school is.  No one else volunteered, so I did it.  No problem right?  Well, yesterday I got a text from her asking if i could pick him up again. ( I found out last time I picked him up that the school has set it up that he doesn't have a class during the last period of the day.  Because school causes him “anxiety,” the school and parents adapted his schedule, so he only have 4 classes a day instead of 5 like everyone else.  (Or maybe he has 3 per day instead of 4, I forget the exact number) but he has to leave the school - he can’t just hang out and then ride the bus home.) Now, I’m sure you recall what frame of mind I was in…  not a happy, loving, service minded place.   I started mentally ranting about how “some people…”  blah blah blah.  give an inch they take a mile kind of stuff... (you can probably imagine…) anyway, by the time I responded that I could pick him up (very begrudgingly, I admit)  she had already lined up the RS president to pick him up, but wanted to know if I could do Thursday (today) instead.  Oh, and by the way,  could I please volunteer to just take one day every week for the rest of the school year to pick him up?

Yup - you guessed it - This sent me mentally into an even bigger rant.  I won't even begin to give examples.  Anyway, I composed a reply that I could pick him up today, but that I was not in a great mental spot right now and I couldn’t commit to anything long term.  I was all ready to send it, but didn’t really feel great about my response.  I decided to say my morning prayer first.

The first thought that came to my mind - “yea, and are willing to bear one another's burdens that they may be light.”  Oh crap!  Not the answer I wanted.  The next thought was along the lines of King Benjamin, “but say in your heart, if I had, I would give” - and then I thought of how grateful I am that I don’t HAVE to work.  If I have a child that needed to be picked up everyday from school, I could quit my job in a heartbeat and our family finances would be just fine.  (or my work would try to accommodate me that I could do both)   Yes, it would be inconvenient for me to give up almost an hour of my time to make the round trip to pick up someone else's kid - (who I personally think needs to learn how to cope with real life instead of  finding ways to escape it) but I HAVE the time.  I CAN easily afford to pay for the gas.
Then I thought of the challenge we were extended in Stake Conference by our visiting authority that each morning, we should pray for an opportunity to minister to another person that day.  My final thought was that all the time in talks, when they are talking about feeling down, that you should look for people you can serve.

SO - with these “ever so subtle” nudges from the spirit, I changed my text to say that I would pick up her son on Wednesdays.  (I picked that day because it is the day the kids have mutual, and maybe if I tell him every Wednesday as he gets out of the car ”Hey, do you want us to pick you up for young men’s tonight?”  Maybe ONE day he might say yes and actually show up.  You never know…

Then after I sent the text, I opened my Book of Mormon to do my 10 minutes of reading, and in my first verse, it said, “and let us be faithful in keeping the commandments of the Lord; for behold he is mightier than all the earth, then why not mightier than Laban and his fifty, yes, or even than his tens of thousands.  (and my thoughts added, "Yea, or even stronger than the demon of depression)...  then in verse 6…  “Let us go up, the Lord is able to deliver us…”

I believe that.  I believe that The Lord has the power to help me get through all things.  He has in the past, and he will continue in the future. But I have to DO my part.  Just like they had to "GO UP."  God didn't just drop the plates into their hands.  they had to GO UP.  they had lay the ground work.  They had to MOVE FORWARD in faith.  It was interesting, because in the short time that this experience took place, my emotional state took a huge turn.  and I started to feel less oppressed.  Less dead inside.

As far as the rest of the day - busy but good.  Went to my workout this morning, had a better day at work.  Got in a short nap after school, took Bryan & Caleb to scouts (community troop) and they both had their necessary board of reviews and scoutmaster conferences, so they will advance in rank at the court of honor next week, then I raced over to help with our ward’s pack meeting (they were having a mini blue and gold - a birthday party theme, and they asked me to come make balloon animals/swords/ etc…  for the kids.)  I wasn’t super excited (by which I mean i didn't want to do it at all!) about going when I agreed to it earlier this week, but I got a blessing from it - Aaron agreed to come along and make balloon things with me.  (He is the master at making turtle wrist bracelets.)   I think it was good for him to get out and do some service too.

Now I am home, just made a new batch of homemade granola, and I think I’ll treat myself to watching one episode of something before I go to bed.

TONIGHT I AM GRATEFUL.  VERY VERY GRATEFUL FOR A GOOD DAY

PS - I am also VERY VERY VERY grateful for dear friends who understand exactly what I am going through, and who love and support me in ALL things.  THANK YOU! (you know who you are!)