mediocrity

A very mediocre day...  not good, not bad.  Katrina woke  up sick, and spent the day at  home, throwing up...   poor  kiddo!  I hope  the rest of us can skip the sickness,  but only time will tell if we get lucky.  (i'm really not holding  my breath,  we'd have to be SUPER lucky for that to happen.

I volunteered in Caleb's class today, (I do it  every wednesday)    I am  thinking about seeing if  there  is another mom  who wants  an every other week kind of schedule so I can lighten my load a little,  but  we'll see.   Tomorrow  is my day to volunteer  in Bryan's class...  

Damon was offered  a job down  in  Moroni, Ut.  I'd love to  have them  move back  to Utah.  They are trying to decide if it is a good move for them.  It doesn't pay much, so it would be tough to live on fo rthem, but I'm still hoping they take it.  We'll see what happens.

i'm trying

today was a little better.  I know that when I feel in the dumps I tend to do nothing - just lie in bed, (usually eating) watching  TV or reading  or whatever,  but then I just end up feeling more guilty because  I'm not doing what I'm "supposed" to be doing...  Today I took a walk with Caleb,  it was a beautiful day, and we hiked up on the mountain for about 45 minutes, then after he left for Kindergarten, I set the timer and worked hard for a full hour.  I know it isn't much,  but it was  good for me.  then  I got to turn  on t he tv and  watch while I tried to dig  into t he piles in the master bedroom.  (AKA family dumping  ground)  The kitchen got clean, and I made great progress on my room (about 90% done - should be able to finish tomorrow)

I did a tiny bit towards my calling - helping introduce our new activity leader, Sister Settle, to the girls and other leaders.  I think that will  be a good fit.  Then I made dinner and after dinner we took the kids to the rec center -  not to swim (wrong time of the month for me) but they played racquetball (after a manner of speaking...)  pool, shuffleboard, rock climbing, and on the indoor playground.  we stayed longer t han we planned, and the kids got to bed later, but t hey had fun.  I want to do more things for "fun" as a family - but I find I often  ruin the experiences by being so uptight and  ...  I  don't even know...  Tonight I  blew it by losing my temper at Aaron - he tends to push my buttons the most, (might have something to do with  being a  teenager)  and I totally over-reacted.  I snapped at him (in front of his friend  Luke, who came  with us) after  Caleb got hurt - trying to "race" aaron while jumping from these cement rings in front  on the rec.  Caleb missed a  jump and  fell, hitting his elbow and crotch hard - and narrowly missed hitting  his head on the cement wall.  I apologized, and hope he  forgave me, but it makes me feel like  I negated  any good done by having "family fun time."  It is just hard.

In a tiny piece of good news.  I've been using the free calorie counting site - myfitnesspal, and have logged in for 31 days in a row.  (a new record for me, and an accomplishment I am proud of.   I have dropped  a few lbs,  from 177 down to 173.  It is SLOW going, and I sure wish the weight would drop faster, but  I am trying to be content  with the knowledge that I am making progress and making lifestyle changes...

Mission accomplished... then crash and burn

Yesterday (Sunday) was a FANTASTIC  day!  It was the day of the primary program, and the program went GREAT.   Several months  back when we started planning the program,  I was going to write it the same way they have  the past several years, where as a presidency they divide  up the  monthly themes and classes, and they each write a portion.  We  started in t hat direction,  but it  didn't feel  right,  so I ended up taking  it on my own responsibility.   I had an idea of what I wanted,  and decided I would rather do it  myself  than not have it be what I wanted.

The theme for the year has  been  "I am a child of God,"  and the vision I had was that I wanted the theme to carry through the program.   I didn't want people to get to the end and not really know what our focus was.   The way I planned it was that for each  monthly theme, the children in the assigned class presented the basic doctrines,  with a lot of personalize parts (Like the CTR 5 class talked  about how Jesus created the earth,  under  the direction of Heavenly Father, and several of the kids told what their favorite creation was and why.)  Then they final child would introduce  themselves by name, say a few t hings about themselves, like things they like to do, then tie in the monthly theme,  and end with "but the most  important thing about me is that I am a child of  God and He loves me."  and example  of this was  one girl who's class had  the topic of  the atonement of Jesus Christ.  Her part was, "My name is Sadie, I am 10 years old and I love to swim and read. I always try to choose the right, but sometimes I make mistakes. I know that through the atonement of Jesus Christ, I can repent and be forgiven. The most important thing about me, is that I am a child of God and He loves me."

The children sang beautifully, and even though the music didn't have some elements that I would have wanted if I had been the music leader, it was still good. I had a spot a the end for bishop Hickman to make a few remarks. He didn't say much, but he DID add in his remarks that just like the children, HE was a child of God and that God loves him. It was perfect - (i had suggested that he was free to use the line to tie it all together) because that was my goal - to have them hear t he line repeated over and over, and for the spirit to confirm that regardless of our differences, including age, likes and dislikes, etc... we are all children of God.

I was thrilled that so many people made comments about how they felt the spirit, not just "oh that was so cute. I just love to see the little children, etc..." All but about 5 kids had their parts memorized, and it really was a great experience. I started the day pretty stressed out, but ended on a total high! I felt that I followed the promptings of the spirit in the writing of the program, and I feel we accomplished what the Lord wanted us to do.

The crash and burn part? that would be today. for whatever reason (PMS, Bi-polar???) today I just felt let down, depressed, unmotivated, etc... I feel like I am so BI-POLAR... I feel like I was on such a high yesterday, so then today I crashed back down to earth. It is just ridiculous - there is absolutely no logical reason for me to feel down, and yet I couldn't shake the feeling. what's up with that????? Hoping that tomorrow will be a better day.

blog changes and updates

I feel  badly that I have let my blog become non-existent...  My hope/plan is to backtrack through some  of  the highlights of  the past year and get events and such recorded.  Tonight I  changed  the settings on my blog too, making it a private blog.    I did this  so I can  be more open and  free in w hat I say.  Rather than treating this as a blog, I want to use it  as my journal.  We'll see how it  works.   I will try to back date the entries, so they will still b e in chronological order,  but I will probably make  some notation that it was written late - or may be  not...  I'll see  how it goes.

Where oh where has the school year gone???

I was just adding a few more "end of year" things to my google calendar (that is filling up fast) and I was honestly SHOCKED to see that the kids only have 7 days of school left????  Where has the time gone?  I'm not ready for summer, but I guess I'd better hurry and GET ready.  (planning out summer job charts, family fun time, daily routines, etc...)  Yes, I realize that if my past track record holds true, the amazing summer schedules I come up with will only be followed for a short time, because I usually get tired of enforcing them, but who knows, maybe this year will be different.

I've got the two older children signed up for summer swim team.  We have our family pass to the new and fabulous rec center...  We have a family vacation to Montana in the beginning planning stages, and Tim and I will be going on our cruise to Alaska.  Tim will be taking the 11 year old scouts on a camp out or two, Aaron will have some weekend camp-outs plus a week long camp, plus maybe youth conference (not sure if they are going with the 12 - 18 ages  or the 14 - 18yr olds....)  Aaron is also working on his hiking merit badge right now, in which he must do 5, 10 mile hikes, plus a twenty miler.  To date he has completed two of his 10 milers.

It should be a busy fun summer, and I expect in just a few months I will be sitting here, in shock again, wondering where my summer went and how it can possibly be time to go back to school...    

mother's day poem

Katrina wrote this poem for me for Mother's Day.  (types just as she typed it)

MOTHERS by Katrina Mellor for my mom

Mothers are special in all that they do - 
they cook and they clean and they buy us new shoes
Mothers they love us in rain and in shine - 
they're loving and pretty and always kind
Mothers smell like roses and sweets
like lilacs and lilies and candy treats
EVEN THOUGH ALL MOTHERS ARE DEAR -
MY MOMS THE BEST THE ONE WHOSE RIGHT HERE!

Swimming?? or just all wet??

My friend Bambi (and "adopted" grandma to our kids) is staying at a hotel nearby, and she invited us to come swimming tonight for FHE.  The kids were all excited, got their homework done quickly, and by 7 were all dressed and ready to go.  Tim went downstairs on his way to the car and heard dripping sounds.  SURPRISE... we had a broken pipe and a bunch of wet carpet.

We postponed our swimming activity to tomorrow night, and Tim is downstairs replacing the broken section of pipe and outdoor water spigot.  Fun stuff eh?

I suppose I should go down and see if he needs any help....  Oh wait - I think I hear water re-filling the pipes.  I think I'll stay here in my nice warm bed instead.