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I'm currently reading Dr. Laura's book, "stop whining, START LIVING." So far, I'm really enjoying it. As I'm sure you can guess by the title, it is about making the choice to stop whining , complaining, and dwelling on the negatives in our lives, and focus on, delight in, and enjoy more fully the positives.She does not say that you should never be sad, never complain, or never whine. There is a time and place for all emotions, however, when we chose to dwell on the negative, soon that is all we will see and feel.
I know this to be true in my own life. Let's say for example, that I get annoyed at my husband for some minor nothing. I have found that the times when I chose to quickly dismiss the annoyance and think instead about all the things I love and appreciate about the wonderful man I married, the annoyance is soon completely gone and is a non-issue, and I find that I am LESS-easily annoyed in the future. Unfortunately, there are other times when I am not so kind, loving, and positive; and I chose instead to dwell on whatever it was that annoyed me. With this reaction, I find that anger and resentment build up (over the original NOTHING and any subsequent nothings that I tuck into the equation), and I find that soon all Tim has to do is come home from work and say in a cheery voice, "Hey sweetie, how was your day?" and I am absolutely convinced that he is mocking or attacking me for some housework left undone or something like that. It is crazy. It is so totally true that whatever you chose to focus on, becomes your reality.
Anyway - that's what I'm reading right now and what I'm thinking about. Finally, one quote from the book that I am having a love/hate relationship with right now...
"The people and circumstances around me do not make me what I am, they reveal who I am." (emphasis added)
The hate part of this for me is that I like to excuse my bad behavior by blaming it on "being tired," "kids driving me crazy" "kids not obeying" "too much to do" "my back hurts" etc... The truth of the matter is that when I behave badly, it is no one's responsibility (fault) but mine. I am the one who needs to make the choice to behave differently. And I need to begin TODAY!
9 comments:
So lately I am the BIGGEST whiner. I need a serious attitude adjustment. I will just have to read that book!
Isn't it the truth? One thing that was a revelation to me though--along the lines of back pain or being tired: When I made the jump from "first trimester nausea" to "second trimester feeling nearly human again", I was AMAZED at how my outlook on life on the future suddenly became about 200% more rosey. Last weekend I had a bit of a relapse into nausea, and immediately my optimism dropped as well.
I'm not saying that we should give in to self pity, or give up on having a good attitude when we're physically not at our peak, but I am saying that I do myself a disservice when I compare my actions/attitude when I'm healthy to those I have when I'm run down.
It always works out better for me if I strive to look on the bright side. However, I seem to do better if I'm careful to be more gentle and patient with myself on those days when I'm not feeling up to par.
(If I'm condradicting Dr. Laura though, then this might be a good time to remember one of our own ceiling rules, "Opinions not necessarily accepted.") :)
That is so true, and I feel the same way about it. It's so hard being a responsible adult :0 Whine, whine :)
I know what you mean! I love Dr. Laura and think I will read this book!
Keep your chin up. Love you.
Melissa C. Had to make a new google account. Cant remember my password and stuff and am not on my own computer!
It is SO much easier to read Dr. Laura than to listen to her. Her ideas make tons of sense, but she is so abrasive. That doesn't come through on paper, thank goodness.
I don't like Dr Laura, generally speaking I find her very abrasive & closed-minded. But, that is a great quote!
If you like that book, there are lots of others out there that are great for helping us look on the bright side. A few years ago Oprah started a gratitude journal and she had a guest on who, I believe,was the reason for the journal. Lady wrote a book, it's a "Day Book" called, "Simple Abundance". I learned to savor the small and simple things in my life and to think more positively. Then I was introduced to, "The Secret", which was also spotlighted on Oprah. "The Secret" is basically the, "Law of Attraction". If I am always thinking negative thoughts, I will mostly receive negative...everything. If I mostly think good, positive thoughts, I will mostly recieve good and positive things. I find most of it is perception. Anyway, like you said, quickly dismissing the negative and annoying, we can move on to being grateful for what we have. When we are grateful to the Lord for what we have, he wants to bless us with more and more goodness in our lives. If we don't recognize the good, why would he want to give us more good?
Ok, I will get off my soap box. Maybe I should just write a whole blog on my own site. We'll see if I have time.
Good luck on your quest to be more positive. IT takes conscious effort a lot of days, but I know since I have started making that effort, my home atmosphere has been so much better, and the kids don't wear on my nerves quite so much. I am not perfect at it yet, but it has made a difference. The book sounds like a good one, I may have to look for it here. :)
Great thoughts. I used to listen to Dr. Laura all the time because I was usually out running errands during her show and listened in the car. But not anymore. I didn't know she had this book out. I'll have to check it out.
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