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I'm thinking right now about Charlotte's comment on my last post. I'm pondering why it is that everyone else's life seems so much more interesting and exciting etc... than my own. I'm wondering why it is that we always seem to be looking at others and always measuring ourselves up against them. When (and how) do we get to the point when we are just okay with ourselves and we don't compare ourselves constantly???
I think Melissa might be pretty close to being there. She seems really confident and secure in who and what she is, she feels completely free to openly express any emotion she is feeling - and she expresses them with FEELING!!! - See, here I go again, comparing my 'emotional abilities' with what I perceive to be Melissa's abilities.
In my "logical" mind, I know that we only see what people put out for us to see. We don't see the inner struggles and turmoils. We only seem to compare our weakness to another person's strengths.
Yet - even knowing these thing "logically" - I can't seem to stop myself from doing the comparing thing. Oh well - I still have lots of years to work on it, and I can see that I am making PROGRESS in this area, so I guess that's something.
Another thing - I think it's important to recognize the strengths of others so that we can model our own behavior and attitudes after those people we admire. I just find there is a fine line between admiring people in a healthy and productive way, and comparing ourselves to others in a negative, tear ourselves down way. Ya know what I mean?
Well - that's enough pondering for today. I have been INCREDIBLY lazy all morning, and now I have GOT to get up and get some stuff done!
(with the photo - I was going for a "grass is greener on the other side of the fence" kind of thing, but this one got picked because 1 - it had green grass, 2 - it had a fence, and 3 - it kind of reminded me of the trip Charlotte and I took to New England the October before I got married. The autumn leaves were BEAUTIFUL!!!)
3 comments:
You now, it is really funny that you mentioned me in your post! I have just spent the last few minutes thinking Yolanda has it all made.
I have been sitting here all afternoon feeling sorry for myself. I feel fat and have not worked out for over a week, I have gained some weight back, I feel so discouraged in this area.
I feel totally lost in raising Gabe. Half the time I wish I could give him back. He is hard for me. I SO do not have it all figured out!
I love it that people on the outside think I do though! Wouldn't want anyone to know how human I really am!!!!!
I love you my dear and you are not alone. My life is not that interesting and believe me, the older I get, the less I know.
Plus, you need to remember, you are pregnant. Everything seems bigger than it really is when you are pregnant. Problems seem impossible, everyone else looks more attractive and not only that, but your own boobs sag more, you throw up, feel tired and have Kankels! (calves and anlkles that look the same)!
I don't have too much to say on this, except that I find myself comparing myself to other people far more than I should, and far more than is good for me.
But, I think I do it less today than I did yesterday. So, I'll take that.
And I LOVE the picture. I still pull out my scrapbook and look at the pictures of that trip sometimes. What a great great bunch of memories.
You mentioned admiring people. I had a seminary teacher who had what he called major heroes and minor heroes. Minor heroes were sports stars and other "cool" people. Major heroes were the Savior, prophets, righteous family and friends--people who were doing their best to follow Christ. His heroes inspired me once to make a list of my major heroes--people who have motivated me to do what is right and people who have made me want to be a better person. I think that list would be too long now to be manageable, but I still like to keep my eyes out for people to admire and then try to put my finger on why I admire them.
I think it's okay to say, "She's an awesome woman and I'd like to be like her," as long as you don't say, "I'm such a loser. I wish I could be more like So-and-so. She's got it all together, and I just don't and I probably never will, and I'm going to go to H-E-double toothpicks because I'm just not good enough." I just think we cause ourselves more trouble and grief by digging holes for ourselves that we do by putting other people on a pedestal. My two cents...
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