thankful to be done... until next year

Today was the annual Primary Sacrament meeting program. (my 4th as chorister) As usual, the practices (we only had 2 this year) were chaotic and crazy, yet it pulled together in the end and it was a great program. A few little glitches along the way... like the announcements and sacrament taking longer than usual, and me sitting there starting to panic ... planning where to start cutting out music... I told the pianist we were to going take every song up a few notches in the tempo department, and to look at me before each song, so I could signal to him how many verses we would be doing. (playing it by ear as I gauged the clock) It went well. In case you are wondering, (and I know you must be) here are the "stats" from the program. 73 children were there and did their parts. (79 possible, so it was a pretty good turnout) I would guess that 80% of them had their parts memorized. We sang 10 songs in the program, plus senior primary did 3 more songs as prelude music. In total, they sang 27 verses of music. They did an AWESOME job! I felt bad that I had to cut off verses of several of the songs right there at the last minute, (I took out 5) but I guess that's just the way the chips fell this year.

You should have heard them sing "How Firm a Foundation." We did verses 1,2,3, & 7 and man oh man - they sang with POWER! It was so great! It was so great to hear them building up the "I'll never no never, I'll NEVER no NEVER, I'll NEVER NO NEVER NO NEVER FORSAKE!!!"

For the closing hymn, the children sang Families Can Be Together Forever, with the congregation joining in on each chorus. It was really amazing. (lots of blubbering mom's - plus a few teary eyed dads - out there in the congregation during that song)

Another fun thing we did this year was that the bishop asked us to have two 11 year old children, one boy and one girl, lead the music for sacrament meeting. Keiffer D. led the opening hymn, and Allie S. led the sacrament hymn. They certainly weren't perfect and polished conductors, but I was pleased with how they did, and I was actually surprised at the impact having them lead seemed to have on people. I had lots of people comment to me about how special it was to see them up there leading the hymns. They were both pretty nervous. I was proud of them!

All in all it was a good day. I am super tired - it was long a rather difficult weekend, and I am ready to go to bed!

As a little side note, as part of the prelude music, I had Aaron sing with 3 other kids the new song for next year's program. It is titled "I Know That My Savior Loves Me." and I just love it. Aaron loves to sing and I think he is really quite good, but he gets super shy and nervous, so I asked a couple other kids to sing with him rather than putting him on the spot alone. It's too bad he gets so shy, because he stayed as far away from the mic as he could, yet he really has a beautiful, clear voice, and I would have like to be able to hear him better. Oh well. I was proud of him for having a desire to do it and for learning it so well.

Speaking of side notes and singing - Caleb is standing here next to me while I type, and he's singing away. Apparently they must have sung "Jesus wants me for a sunbeam" in nursery today. It's ADORABLE! - I keep trying to be done, but I have to share - Caleb just switched songs. Now he's singing "I love to see the temple," but instead of the words, he's singing "ma ma ma ma ma ma ma ma ma ma ma ma ma..." continue on, all the way to the end - singing ma (aka mom) to the tune. I just love this boy! Although right now I'd probably love him just a tad more if he were ASLEEP!

OK - enough of this - I've got to get to sleep. 5am comes awfully early in the morning!

Choose you this day...

Anne Bradshaw had this on her blog this morning. I almost skipped by it - then stopped and decided to take the time to watch it. (3 whole minutes of my day) I'm so glad I did. It was a message that I needed to hear. (now I just need to figure out how to post it on here...) Okay. I give up. I don't know how to post something from youtube onto my blog... and it isn't worth the time it would take for me to keep trying to figure it out! You'll just have to go to the link yourself. Sorry.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Cw8I8eukaI


Now I am choosing to get up and get to work!



WAHOO!!! thanks Sandra - I knew it had to be something simple that I just couldn't see. Now it is here on my blog and you don't have to use the link...

Just point me to my bed!!!

Man am I worn out! Today was as crazy as I expected. We had our first practice for our primary sacrament meeting program - which is next week. My pianist was home sick, so I had a new person playing for me - who was sight reading 3 of the songs (the ones not in the primary song book) The kids were either totally hyped up with the Halloween sugar coursing through their veins, or else they were in a post-sugar/up too late stupor. It was really CRAZY! One more week. Then I can go back to playing, singing, relaxing and just plan having fun with the kids - without the added program stress - for another year.

I want to post our Halloween pics, but they are still on the camera - and I have a video of Caleb that I am DYING to post, but IT is also still on the camera; so you will just have to wait in eager anticipation for those - and settle for a shortened gratitude list

1 - I am thankful that it is bedtime.

2 - I am thankful that Tim was so patient tonight and took over all kid and house related duties for way too many hours while I went to choir practice, then ran around doing primary stuff and visiting teaching stuff.

3 - I am thankful that it is bedtime!

4 - I am thankful that it is not my week to drive carpool.

5 - I am thankful that it is bedtime - RIGHT NOW!!!! (g'night!)

(PS - I am NOT grateful that now I have to wait a whole year for the next FarWorld book to come out. I just bought and read Land Keep - (the second book in the series by J. Scott Savage, you may recall from these posts how we first got into the series) and I almost wish I had waited to get into the series until ALL of the books were out. I just hate waiting!!!)

bean museum

It was a good day. My mom came over and watched Caleb and Bryan while I went to volunteer with Aaron's class. Then we drove her back over to the Bean Museum (BYU) so she could do her volunteer work there. (pinning bugs for the entomology dept) Since we were already there - I took the kids into the museum. I didn't realize how long it had been since we were there - but apparently it's been a while. Bryan didn't remember ever being there, and I don't think Caleb's ever been. They both loved, loved, loved it!
At the end of our visit, I let Aaron and Katrina walk through the gift shop. I told them I wasn't going to buy anything but that they could get prices and decide what they wanted, then earn the money and I would bring them back. I think I'll get some good mileage out of this -- they were tripping over themselves tonight trying to help and be good. I liked it - A LOT! Let's hope it lasts. Aaron's trying to earn enough for the microscope - ($35.00 plus tax) So I'm thinking if I can keep him motivated - this will be a good thing!

I'm exhausted. Gettign up at 5am is KILLING me! (but it's great to have time to visit wiht Holly again. I've really missed that. The exercise is just an added bonus...)

Sunday Gratitude

When I got my "blog book" - I really liked re-reading my Sunday gratitude lists, so I think I want to start back up again with them.


Today I am grateful for

* ice cream. (don't ask me why - it was just the first thing that popped into my mind. My Grandpa Allred LOVED ice cream and I think it's in my genes. (I know it's evident in my jeans)

* strong hubby and neighbor. (we rearranged some rooms yesterday and I was SUPER thankful when Aaron B. came down and helped us move the heavy couch back downstairs.

* central heating (and air). We haven't turned on the heat yet, but it's been chilly enough that I keep thinking about it. I am just thankful to know that at any moment I can go flip the switch and "ahhhhhh - HEAT!"

* music. I love good music. I love to sing. I love hear my children singing. (and my "primary kids") Music touches my soul in a way nothing else can!

* Good books. I just finished "The Great and the Terrible" series by Chris Stewart. I really enjoyed it. now when I have negative thoughts I am totally like, "hey, you evil spirits - get away from me. I WILL NOT listen to you!"

* sleeping in. Not that I get to do this all that much any more, but it is fore front in my mind since starting tomorrow, I'll be getting up at 5:00am to go exercise with Holly. (yuck! the exercise & early morning, not Holly;)

* family fun time. we took the kids to pumpkin land yesterday and had a fun time, even though it was rainy and cold - and the kids were wet and nearly frozen by the end... it was still lots of fun and I enjoy those times when we can all just relax and play together. We don't do it enough.

my "deprivation demons"

Something happened to me today that I found intriguing - and perhaps even eye-opening. I will attempt to make a long story shorter...

the background - Aaron struggles with school - reading in particular, and that has affected his confidence levels in every other area... I took him to a tutoring center last week for some assessments, and today I went in to get the results and their recommendations. They didn't tell me anything I didn't already know. (which I guess is good...) He's about 1 grade behind in reading, 2 grades behind in spelling, and in math he tested above average in 4 of the 5 "math areas" but in the "number sense* area he scored a 20%, which brought his overall math score to 53%. (just a smidgen above average.) I'm telling you - he is a smart kid - reading has been such a challenge that he's convinced himself that he is dumb! I wish I knew some brainwashing skills so I could just erase those thoughts and replace them with positives.

Anyway - I digress. The center recommended 1 session a week of math tutoring and 2 sessions per week of reading help. Then they hit me with the cost. $40 per session. that's $120 per week. $480 per month!!! Hello - I don't have that kind of money. It is so hard for me, because this REALLY is important. He has to get caught up now or he will hate school for the rest of his life and we are looking at a nightmare for the next 9 years - if he hangs in that long!

I digress again. I will blog another day about what I'm going to try doing - but that is NOT the point of this post. the POINT is what happened to me when I talked to Tim about it.

Now, when I was talking with the owner of the tutoring center and I realized how much money this was going to cost, I knew in my heart we didn't have it. Maybe deep down in my subconscious I kinda hoped we could figure out a way to make it work or something - but I knew we couldn't really afford right now to pay for this. That's why what happened next was so strange to me. I got home and talked to Tim about it. He said, "we can't afford that. Even if we pulled Katrina and Bryan out of gymnastics and pulled Aaron out of art classes, even then I'm not sure we afford it." Instantly my body went tense, I felt sick to my stomach and angry and hurt and upset and who knows what-all emotions started boiling around in me. It was strange, because I knew that what he was saying was correct, but my reaction was so physical and so strong. For about the next 3 hours the feelings continued to harass me and I sulked around the house, looking for food to shove in my face. I just couldn't seem to stop myself. It was awful.
I had a brief flash of clarity - that many times when I go nuts and spend money - or just can't stop eating, especially junk food, or even when I stay up late, even though I am so so tired and I know that the best thing for me would be to go to bed; it is most often because I somehow felt deprived of something I wanted.

I realize logically how silly this is. I am certainly NOT deprived. Not by any stretch of the imagination! I have more food than I need. More clothes than I need. I have a home, vehicles that run, 4 wonderful children, a great husband who works so very hard to provide everything that we need... plus many, many things that we want. I understand that and can SEE that. That's why I thought it was so strange when my body literally - physically and mentally - freaked out. It was really bizarre -

I'm hoping if I can process this new information and try harder to identify what's triggering the "deprivation demon," that I will begin to be able to tame the beast.

what a nightmare... or NOT!

Bryan said something today that made me laugh. (He actually said the same thing about a week or so ago, but I had forgotten about it. I won't forget it this time... since I am 'back to blogging')

I was driving the kids to gymnastics and got stuck in a traffic mess due to road construction. I said, "this is a nightmare!"

Bryan immediately corrected me. "No mom. It is daytime. That means it's a "day-mare" It is a nightmare if it is a night. If it is day time then it is a day-mare."

I stand corrected!