Still here

I'm still feeling a bit under the weather. I think I must be fighting off a bug of some sort. Hope it passes soon.

I've had two experiences this week that have sent my mind to the line from the song "consider the lilies" by Roger Hoffman -

"Consider the sweet, tender children, who must suffer on this earth. The pains of all of them He carried, from the day of his birth..."

On Monday night we went to a nearby park to play for FHE. There were two boys there (I would guess their ages to be around 12 -14) who were being HORRIBLE. The were doing their best to ruin the whole park experience for everyone there. They were talking rudely and crudely at top volume. There were spitting at people and things. There were being rude and mean and hateful to other young people at the park. (They left the little kids alone, I'm guessing since all of then were accompanied by parents...) Some of the things that came out of these kids' mouths seemed indicative of abuse - certainly emotional, and according to some things they said - also sexual. I went back and forth between wanting to grab the boys, whack their heads together, tell them to shape up, and kick them out of the park; and feeling sorry for them, since it was obvious that they were hurting inside and so in need of attention that they were willing to take all the negative attention they could.

Then yesterday, one of our tenants, "Lucy," came by to have me fill out some paperwork so that she could hopefully get medical welfare assistance for her granddaughter. While she was here, she told me the most recent saga in her story - In short, Lucy's daughter Kathy, age 17 with a 5 month old baby, took Lucy to court and had the grandma (Matilda) named as Kathy's legal guardian. (names have been changed) Well, that lasted less than a month before Matilda kicked Kathy and the baby out. Kathy moved back in with Lucy, running up bills which she refuses to pay, won't get up at night with the baby, and leaves for days a time (without the baby of course) because she needs a "break." Lucy (who has made lots of poor choices herself, but seems to be trying to do what she thinks is best) says she would like to kick Kathy out, but doesn't feel she can because of the baby.

Although there are days when I am sure that I am the worst mom ever, and I feel sorry for my children, having been sent to earth with ME as their mother; there are many more times when I realize that my children are the lucky ones. Even with my outbursts and shortcomings. My heart aches for the children who suffer so much at the hand of selfish and evil adults - especially when those adults are their parents - the ones who should be doing everything in their power to love, cherish, and protect these little ones.

Monday night, I added to my prayer those boys from the park. Even though I was incredibly annoyed that they destroyed the family atmosphere of the park that evening, I knew that they were hurting and desperately in need of the healing power of the Savior. I also pray for the sweet baby granddaughter of our tenant. How I wish this teenage girl could see that the best life she could give the baby is to allow a good, strong, two parent family the chance to adopt the sweet baby, before the chaos of their lifestyle starts the cycle all over again.

I think tonight I will say an extra prayer for the children around the world who are hurting, and I will find comfort in knowing that Jesus loves the children and is ever mindful of them. Then I will read an extra bedtime story and snuggle a little longer when I tuck my own sweet kids into bed.