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I just looked at the beginning words of my last post... talking about feeling super tired and harried. I have to say, not much has changed- I still feel that way most of the time. That's not to say that things around here haven't changed. Since my last post, the world went through a world wide pandemic with Covid-19. Schools & churches were shut down, businesses shut down, people who seemed to be healthy ended up in ICU and many died or came away with long term complications, other people who seemed unhealthy and at highest risk, got covid and it was nothing more than a regular cold-like illness. Isolation was really hard on some people, other people loved it and wished things would never go back to "normal." It really didn't bother me too much. I kind of liked the slower pace of things. I didn't necessarily agree with all of the edicts being handed down by "big brother government" - but I also believe that for the most part, people were trying to do their best with the ever changing stream of unknowns and new information coming at them. This post is not meant to be a commentary on Covid or the things that happened, but yes, I fear that some things that took place will be showing their "unintended consequences" for years to come. I just didn't feel like I could jump into a post, FOUR YEARS LATER, without at least acknowledging that we went through some interesting times in the interim.
Also since it's been 4 years... here's a very brief family update - Aaron (22), is married to a darling young lady named Hailee. We love her and think they are good for each other. Katrina (19) is currently serving an 18 month mission for our church, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. She is serving down in the Londrina, Brazil mission and is enjoying the experience, even with all of the challenges that come with it. Bryan is a jr. in high school and is active in Cross Country, Hope Squad, NHS, Theater, and anything thing else that catches his fancy. Caleb is a freshman in high school and is facing the challenges of adapting to a new school and new "high school drama." He is much more sensitive to the opinions of others, so HS is going to be more of a minefield for him than for Bryan, but so far, he seems to be doing fairly well. Tim still works his "regular job" plus his two side jobs as real estate agent & property management / landlord for our investment properties. I continue to work part time as a 3rd grade teacher's aide. It is likely I will continue to do that until Caleb graduates from HS, then we are hoping the investments properties will be enough to sustain us, and Tim can take an early retirement and we can spend time traveling, serving, and perhaps even living abroad for a while. We'll just have to wait and see see if and how that works out. (here's a couple of more recent photos. The first picture is when we took everyone to "Evermore," back in October before Katrina left on her mission. (Hailee, Caleb, Bryan, me, Katrina, & Tim) The other was also in October, taken on our Fall Break trip down to Marysvale, Utah. (Bryan, Katrina, & Caleb in the back, Hailee, Aaron, & Tim in the front. )
The main reason I decided to try to get back to blogging, is because I am wanting to use this space as a place to track my journey as strive to move to a more whole food plant based way of living. (and the rest of my life as it ebbs and flows, because really, you can't separate the two.) I have been seriously struggling with my weight for the past 17 years. I have been living the definition of yo-yo dieting, and it is NOT a healthy way to live, nor is it helping me reach my goals. I want to be able to serve, travel, play with grandkids, go hiking, be active, etc... for many years to come - and yet, the reality is that even now, at only 51 years old, my knees ache. I am a good 50+ lbs overweight. I am tired and exhausted almost all of the time. I live on a perpetual rollercoaster of depression. I have trouble concentrating and focusing on things. My cholesterol is too high. In my immediate family, 4/8 of us have been diagnosed with diabetes, and my sister, while not diabetic now, had gestational diabetes while pregnant. I have long know that diabetes, for me, was probably not an IF, but rather, a WHEN... Basically, I am NOT living a life (or a life style) that is going to have me in a place where I can still move and hike and play and comfortably travel for the next 10 - 20 years. I need to figure this out and I need to do it now!
It's like the saying, the best time to plant a tree is 20 years ago. The next best time to plant a tree is today.
It can't be a matter of just going on yet another diet. Been there, done that. I need to change my relationship with food and my mental connections with it.
Here is what I am thinking today:
* I need to continue to study and educate myself about food addictions & healthy food habits
* I need to move to a Whole Food Plant Based way of eating. No, I don't have to be 100%. But the majority of my food needs to be REAL FOOD - and mostly PLANT BASED
* I need to do regular basic exercises that incorporates both cardio exercise and strength training activity.
I have been led in this direction for a while now, but I haven't been able to make it "stick." I tend to over complicate things. Everything I read reminds me that the key to making this type of lifestyle shift is to keep things simple. That is hard for me. So my first order of business, in addition to daily reading or listening to something to help me learn and grow in my understanding - is to gather a collection of meals that are
1) easy to prepare
2) whole food plant based
3) the rest of the family will eat
4) that I LIKE to eat (taste good!)
One of my biggest hangups in organizing my life and meals - is that it is SO hard for me to meal plan. it always has been! Now if you take away all of my "regular" food and "comfort food," I become paralyzed... with no clue what to make for dinner. My plan is to test and try a whole bunch of recipes over the next month. I will evaluate them, then keep only the ones that meet my criteria. After 2 months, I should have more than enough recipes that I can just rotate through them and not have the battle of trying to figure out something to eat.
My over all goals: Yes, I want to lose weight. By all current medical standards, I am too heavy. But I am aware that a number on the scale does not accurately reflect the level of a person's health. I want to lower my cholesterol numbers and hopefully never have to deal with diabetes. I want the pain in my joints (knees especially) to decrease (or go away all together). I want to be able to hike and walk up stairs without getting out of breath. I want to live at least another 25 - 35 years in a healthy, active way. So my hope is, that as I strive to eat good, healthy, nutritious foods, I will accomplish my HEALTH goals, and the hope is that the weight will naturally go down in the process. I am hoping that writing about what I am learning, doing, and experiencing, will help me stay focused, AND help me process and remember what I am learning and feeling.
Just in the fact of opening this blog back up (which I haven't done for years...) I went back and read some old posts, and I remember that I enjoy expressing myself and my thoughts through written word. It helps me think and see more clearly; plus, as I look back, it helps me remember. Will it work? will I stick with it? Who knows. But I have to try. (I know, in just my cursory glance at past posts, this is not the first (or even second or third) post of this kind. But maybe THIS is the time??? I am hopeful (and prayerful) that will be the case.)
I don't know if anyone will even ever see what I write here. But since this is for ME - it really doesn't matter.
If anyone DOES read this - and you made it all the way to the end. Wow, I'm impressed!
Have a blessed day.
