a few more photos

Just a few more photos. I liked the one at the bottom enough that I really wish Aaron had been in it. I could have used it to get Christmas cards printed up and then I'd be able to get them sent out. Unfortunately, Aaron was in "a mood" and refused to have his picture taken that day... oh well. We'll try again another time.

The recuperation process seems to be going well. We are back at home and today Tim went back to work - thus making it my first day all alone with all four kids. My patience levels are still in super short supply, but I am trying to reign myself in. Tim has tomorrow (New Years Day) off, then Aaron will be back in school on Wed. I need to schedule Caleb's two week check-up and my two week post c-section check up for this week as well, but I'm not really in any big rush. I really am not looking forward to going out in this freezing cold weather - hauling a new baby and trying to keep two other kids within arms reach (my reaching length is considerably shorter since I lack the ability to bend if it requires any help from the stomach muscles) Oh well, a mom's gotta do what a mom's gotta do. And right now, THIS mom has "gotta" feed the kids lunch and then take a nap! (I'll just have to take my chances with the disasters that will most certainly result during said nap time.)

Baby Caleb

Hey all, I'm finally back. I am happy report that Caleb Jonathan has safely arrived. Things did not go at all as planned...
He was born just after 1:00 (I don't recall the specific time, as I'm sure you can understand after hearing about his arrival, and I don't want to get up right now to look for the paper that has the exact time) on Monday, December 17th. He weighed 8 lbs 4 oz, and I can't remember how long they said he was... Anyway - here is the story of his eventful arrival.

On the morning of the 17th, I had a full day planned. I had asked Tim to stay home from work so that I could get to all of my various appointments without having to worry about fining a sitter for the other kids. Trina had her speech class at 9:00. I was scheduled for a non-stress test at 9:30, my IV Iron therapy at 10:15, then my weekly midwife check up at 11:45. Tim had scheduled appointments to go to the dentist and to get his car's oil change done in the afternoon.

It all started out fine. Tim took Bry and Trina to speech and I went to the hospital for my NST.
For this point on, the schedule got a tad bit off track. During the NST, they kept seeing drops in the baby's heart rate. "Nothing really serious," but enough to make them concerned that the baby was under stress. (Is this the story of this pregnancy or what? It seems like every time I turned around there was something else that "wasn't serious," but was something to be a little concerned about and keep an eye on.) The NST people called the midwife and she told me that the baby was showing enough signs of stress they she felt they should induce me and get the baby here. I said okay, called Tim to tell him that plans had changed and we were going to be having a baby... I went downstairs to cancel my IV therapy and then drove to the hospital where I would be delivering.

I checked in, got settled, and they started me on Pitocin (spelling??). So far so good. They continued to see decelerations in the baby's heart rate during each contraction but still nothing to be too concerned about... About an hour into the pit drip, Tim and the kids arrived (he hadn't been able to get a hold of my mom to come watch the kids yet...) I called my parents next door neighbor and was able to catch him at home. He confirmed that he had seen my mom working outside and I sent him over to give her the message to come to the hospital. Then my midwife (Sue was the delivering midwife that day) came in and broke my water.

About 20 minutes later, my mom arrived. (talk about perfect timing...) Right after my mom got here, the nurse (her name was Jill and she was wonderful!) came in and said that they were starting to be more concerned about the baby. Every time I had a contractionn the heart rate would drop significantly enough that they couldn't get a clear reading of it via the external monitors. They wanted to put in an internal monitor - on the baby's head, so they could get a more accurate reading of what was happening. I of course agreed, and that's when everything went berserk. Jill went to insert the internal monitor and found that the umbilical cord coming out first. (called prolapsed cord) Every time I would have a contraction, the cord would descend first, the the baby's head would put pressure on it and cut off all the oxygen supply to the baby. She called the midwife in, who confirmed the situation.

The next thing I knew I had a slew of nurses surrounding my bed and about 15 seconds later I was being rushed down the hall to the OR for an emergency C-section. The next few minutes while they waited for the Dr to arrive, I was prepped for surgery, given a shot to stop the contractions, all the while Jill was doing everything in her power to hold the baby's head and umbilical cord apart from each other to keep the oxygen supply getting to the baby. (It was VERY painful from MY perspective) The two doctors arrived, I was put under, and I woke up in SERIOUS pain about an hour and a half later.
For the first 24 hours I wasn't able to nurse Caleb. Apparently when there is a lack of oxygen, the body sends everything to the brain, and the other organs sort of shut down. If the baby gets food in the stomach before the organ starts functioning, the food will just rot in the stomach and cause infection or other problems. To be honest, I was actually kind of glad, because it meant one less thing for me to have to deal with that first night. Caleb was on an IV getting sugar water, so he was as content as could be,and he just slept the night away in the nursery. I tried to sleep, but it wasn't until about 3 in the morning when the pain medication finally seemed to catch up to the pain.
I stayed in the hospital until Friday, then came straight to my mom's house where we will stay until this weekend. We figured it would be much easier for my mom to help out if we stayed here. Tim went back to work this morning and I am SO glad I'm not at home, in my split level house with a kazillion stairs, trying to take care of 4 children. After going up to Montana to help my sister after her C-section, and seeing how difficult her recovery was, I was dreading the healing process. I think my doctors must have been better than hers, because I feel like I'm healing well, and I'm getting around much better than I thought I would be.

Caleb is just so sweet. The kids all love him to death and are anxious to help and to hold him. We've taken some better pictures than these hospital shots, but the thing (USB cord???) to download them from the camera is at home, so you'll just have to take my word for it...

Well, that's the story. I feel so blessed that everything went as it did. They tell me that if my water had broken at home, it is likely we would have lost the baby. The morning after the delivery, the Dr. came in and said something to the affect of , "aren't you glad you're not living in the pioneer days? You and the baby would have been markers along the trail." Now isn't that a lovely thought? I am so very very grateful that Caleb is healthy and that everything went as well as it did. As they were prepping me for surgery, I kept thinking of the blessing I received a few months back; that I would have the strength to endure the trials and afflictions, and that I should/would get the proper medical care, and that I would be able to welcome a healthy baby into our family. I'd say that as much as that blessing didn't tell me what I wanted to hear... it was right on the mark.

Best Husband in the World Contest

Hey guys - My friend Candace has been hosting a contest for the Best Husband in the World. The finalists have been posted and the voting ends tomorrow - so, pop on over to http://candacesalima.blogspot.com and vote for your choice(s) for the winner.

While I can honestly say that TIM is absolutely, hands down, the best husband in the world for ME - (I can't imagine anyone else putting up with me and my idiosyncrasies) the finalists selected for this contest really sound like great men. Their wives are very lucky women. I think it is so sad that we live in a world when "man bashing" is totally acceptable, considered 'humor,' and it is like it's become a sport among many women. While we all know that men and women were created to be different; and sometimes it is funny to acknowledge the quirky differences - I think it is so important to honor men and celebrate the strength and goodness they bring to life.

Anyway - First be thankful for the good men in your own lives, then go read about these guys and cast your vote for "Best Husband in the World."

I believe in "points for trying"

(still no baby, in case you were wondering...)

I have a friend who is pretty obsessive/perfectionist - you can pick the term. She is the type of person for whom everything has to be done the RIGHT way. She is on medication for depression and anxiety, and even with that, many days she feels overwhelmed by her life. I had a little experience last night that made me think that I should give her more credit for the things she does get done... I thought I would share the experience with you -

Bryan loves to get into my closet, find my bathrobe, and then drag it around with him and snuggle with it. He'll curl up at night with it over his head. (I always try to remove it because I worry that he'll get it wrapped all around his neck and choke himself with it.) I decided that for Christmas I would make him a blanket - one side a soft, warm, flannel type material, and the other the cool, silky feeling (like my bathrobe) material. Now, I should tell you that I am totally a NON SEWER! I took the 8th grade required HomeEc class, doing the required sewing unit. On the day we learned to thread the machine, I just wrapped the thread around every little part I could think to wrap it around. The teacher came running at the smell of smoking parts. I got through the class, but my lines were never straight, and I never felt confident in my sewing abilities. That has remained my feeling to this day.

SO - I sat down last night to sew this blanket. I figured, "how hard can it be? It's just two squares of fabric and I'm going to stitch them together." What a nightmare! I still don't know why, but for the first hour, the top thread kept breaking. I threaded that machine at least 25 times. I am NOT exaggerating! I was getting SO frustrated. I ended up taking part of the machine apart to figure out if there was something jammed in the tension knob thing, since that was where the problem seemed to be coming from. (I would have been much more comfortable taking wood shop and auto shop in Jr. high - it's much more to my liking to take things apart to try to fix them and to build things - I LOVE power tools!)

Now, back to the story. I ended up needing to wind a new bobbin and so I changed thread at the same time. For some reason this seemed to fix the problem and I was able to finish up the blanket. Does it look fabulous? NO! Are the stitching lines straight? HA HA! Is it square? NOPE! (makes it a little trickier to fold, but I figure it won't be folded very often anyway...)
Do I think that Bryan is going to LOVE it and snuggle with it and that it will become a treasured memento of his mommy's love? NO - I think he'll keep getting my bathrobe out of the closet.

Even as I was sewing and these thoughts were running through my mind, I thought "but at least I get points for trying." That started another train of thinking. Points from whom? Do I really think there is someone somewhere - marking points on some score chart? Do I really think there is some point quota that we have to reach? No. Then what do I think?

What it finally came down to was that I think we are expected to TRY. I believe that we were sent to earth to experience life. To try new things. To do things that maybe we aren't really that great at. I believe that we don't have to be great at all the things we do. We just have to give it a shot. We just have to try. I won't even say "do our best" because I'm sure that if I wanted to take the time, I could have spends hours and hours and day and day working on this little blanket for Bryan. But the fact is - it doesn't really matter. Having straight stitch lines wouldn't mean that I love Bryan more. It would just mean that I took that much time away from doing other things that are probably more important.

As I thought about my friend while I sewed last night - I realized that if I viewed things the way she does - that nothing is good enough unless it's "perfect" - I would never do anything. I would be paralyzed by my perfectionism! I would constantly be afraid to do anything because I would know I just wouldn't be able to do it "right." I acknowledge that sometimes I go to far the other way - that I settle for "good enough" instead of pushing/encouraging myself to be better. I know there is definitely room for improvement in all areas of my life, but I am confident that the Lord doesn't expect me to be perfect right now. While I am sure he would like to see a little more focus/effort on "improving," I am confident that he is pleased with the fact that I keep trying. That I keep doing . That I keep experiencing and enjoying life.

The "flylady" motto for 2007 has been "progress, not perfection in 2007." I truly do believe that while there isn't some great scorecard somewhere with a full time scorekeeper, we do get "points for trying." Some days we fall far shorter than others - but we get points for getting up and trying again.

So - I'm going to get up and go clean the bathroom. It certainly won't be "perfect," but it'll be better than it is now. And then I think I'll spend some time playing with my children. (the kitchen floor has been sticky for 2 days now, I think it can wait a few more hours.)

change is good

Still no baby.

Yesterday morning I was having mild, but fairly consistent, contractions. They were consistent enough that I wasn't sure if I should send Tim out the door to work or not. (since he has to drive an hour each way...) He waited at home for an extra hour, then the contractions stopped, so I sent him off to work. BUMMER MAN~

I think the disappointment got to me, because for the rest of the day I felt totally unmotivated, super lazy, and unable to do anything! So after doing absolutely nothing all day - I decided (at 7:30 at night) that I needed a haircut. (go figure...) I found a beauty school nearby that had an 8:30 appt available, so in I went. It was nice to get out of the house, be away from the kids, and I think I lost 3 or 4 lbs of hair. My head feels SO much lighter! She took off about 4 or 5 inches to start, then put in long layers. The shortest layers are just above my shoulders (taking off an additional 5 or 6 inches) and the longest layers fall about 4 or 5 inches below my shoulder.

Believe me - there was quite the pile of hair on the floor when she was finished, but as I said, it feels so much lighter. My challenge now will be to figure out how to work with it. (I did insist that all layers were long enough to pull back into my mainstay hairdo - that of the ponytail!)

I got home and was happy to find that Tim had all the kids in bed asleep. I was in my bathroom examining my new cut, when my super bushy, uni-brows jumped out at me and were totally bugging me. SO - I decided, on a whim, to pluck them! (this was a first for me, and I didn't do that great of a job, but oh well) I wasn't going for a huge, drastic difference, and unfortunately they aren't exactly even, but I got to the point where I decided that I had no idea how to fix the unevenness, and I knew I'd better stop plucking before I had no eyebrows left. It's not bad enough that I feel the need to find a babysitter, make an appointment, and rush in to a professional to get them evened out, but maybe in the near future I'll consider it.

I think it is safe to say that I was discouraged by the lack of change in this baby situation, so I took matters into my own hands and made what changes I DID have control over. Today I'm feeling like an almost new woman - still not super productive in the housekeeping arena, but I'm not lying on the couch feeling sorry for myself either, so that's good news.

Later -

no baby yet, work party, and Faith in America

Nope - no baby yet...

Last night was Tim's work party. It was a dinner held at the Little America Hotel, and even though getting dressed up and going out (and getting stuck for a whole extra hour in traffic due to an accident - I was not involved in one, just got stuck for miles and miles because of one), it was a nice evening. I didn't have to cook or clean up, and the kids got to play at grandma and grandpa M's for 3 1/2 hours. The kids thought it it was great. (I hope the grandparents thought so too) I wish I could say that Tim won a prize, but no luck this year. (These companies that Tim works for give out great prizes. The smallest prizes last night were $100 gift cards to various restaurants, and the largest were a $500 American Express gift card and two tickets to fly anywhere Jet Blue flies. One couple at our table - a guy Tim carpools with - won a set of the airline tickets. There were $200 gas cards, $150 gift cards to Target and Walmart, $200 cards for IKEA... the list goes on. I kept thinking when they'd announce the next prize - "oh yea, I could spend that one...." Oh well - maybe next year.

Now, my reaction to Mitt Romney's Faith in America Speech yesterday. (I actually got to watch it on TV, since I was sitting the IV therapy chair at the hospital getting another iron treatment.) Now to be honest, I should start by saying that I am LDS (mormon), and I plan to vote for Romney. I think he has proven his ability to lead in times of difficulty and scandal (the SLC Olympics), I believe he has shown the ability to lead in fiscally wise decisions (balancing the MA budget without raising taxes), and I believe he is a man who lives and stands for moral and family values - which I believe this country desperately needs.

I think he did a fantastic job on his speech. I think it was very well written and delivered and was inspiring and patriotic. I was very proud of him. I listened to quite a bit of "post speech commentary" as well, and I was not at all surprised to hear the variety of reactions. Romney is in a situation where no matter what he said, there would be people who said he either "went to far" or "didn't go far enough." There is absolutely nothing he could say that would satisfy everyone. I thought he did a marvelous job in stating clearly that he is a Christian, that he does believe in Jesus Christ - but we all know that people will continue to believe whatever they want to believe. I thought he did a great job reminding the American people that it is not so important which particular faith you adhere to - as long as there is the moral foundation to build upon. I loved how he said that freedom cannot exsist without a moral (religious, if you will) foundation. I loved when he said that there were many who said he should distance himself from his faith at this time, but that was something that he would not do, not should he. I loved when he said, If I lose the election because of my religious affiliation, so be it." He stated firmly that America does not need leaders who will simply change their "beliefs" to satisfy the whim of the people.

In one radio comment I heard after the speech, Enid Green stated something along the lines that this speech was given not to convince people that Romney is one thing or another, or to convince them to vote for Romney, but it was instead to tell people that Mitt Romney deserves their fair consideration. I hope people in America will find the ability to look at the candidates for who and what they are. Who and what they stand for. How they live their lives.

I firmly believe that America is a "choice land," a "land above all others"; but I fear that we are walking a path that will take away that blessing. In the Book of Mormon we are told that the people of this land will prosper and be blessed only as we follow God. As Romney stated in his speech, there are many who seem intent on establishing the new religion in America - that of secularism. I stand for FAITH IN AMERICA. I believe that the government of this great land was inspired by God, and that the men and women who were instrumental in the founding of this great country were placed on this earth at that time and place for that specific purpose. I believe that it is time for people of faith in America to stand up and be counted. (Do I think it will happen? no, I think things will get worse before they get better... but I can hope, can't I?)

Anyway - I am not a super-charged political machine - in fact i admit that I'm pretty clueless when it comes to most things going on in the world (mostly clueless by choice) but I just wanted to weigh in on Romney's speech yesterday - and this is what came out once I started typing.

Ya'll have a great day and I hope I have baby picture to post the next time I get on here to blog!

where does the time go?

I can't believe it is a new week already. Where did last week go??? I wish I could say that I've been gone having a baby, but unfortunately, that would be a wishful thinking LIE!

I had my midwife appointment today. We're hanging in there. She did check my status and I'm dilated to between a 1 & 1 1/2, which means that I wasn't imagining what I thought might be mild-ish contractions over the weekend - at least my body is gearing up to get this baby here. (With my others I've always been at a big fat ZERO the appointment before they were born.
I may need to readjust my mental due date as well. My initial due date was Dec 14, based on LMC - but I happily changed my mindset to accept the ultrasound due date which moved it up a few days to the 10th. My midwife today informed me that they never changed it on their charting, since it was within a certain number of days... BUMMER. I know it may not seem like much to those of you who have never been pregnant before - but that extra four days (or five, depend on how you count) looks/feels like an eternity from where I'm sitting!

Anyway - Let me move on to a new subject - Christmas preparations: I WAS done with my Christmas shopping about a week or so ago, until my mother (who hates to shop even more than I do) decided to put me in charge of doing her shopping for her. (I do most of my shopping online, and my mom is a bit computer phobic, so she figured I could do her shopping while I did my own. I didn't bother to tell her I was already done, I figured it's the least I can do - she is my mom after all, and she's been so good to drive over here multiple times a week to watch the kids while I go in for non stress tests and IV iron treatments.)
We got our tree up and decorated the week of Thanksgiving. I tried to get the kids to sit in front of it to get a picture to post here, but I could never get all 3 kids to look at the camera (and look semi-non-goofy) at the same time. I got our family Christmas letter written last week. Of course, the first paragraph reads something like this: "We are pleased to announce the arrival of the newest member of our family - so and so somebody. He/she arrived on December ??? and weighed in at ???lbs and was ??? inches long." I figure it will be easy to fill in the blanks on the baby info after the baby gets here, and I won't have the stress of writing the WHOLE letter. Hopefully we'll be able to get a good picture of the family and/or the kids soon after the baby comes, then I can get the photo Christmas cards made, copy the letters, and if all goes well, get everything into the mail before Valentines Day:)

WEEKEND report: Saturday morning Tim got to go pick up Jasmine from another overnight stay at the vets. I took her in on Friday to have her stitches removed, and as they were taking out the ones on her worst laceration, I questioned whether they were ready to come out. The vet technician assured me it was fine, and took out the sutures. I had been home about 15 minutes when Aaron pointed out to me that the entire wound was wide open. I took Jasmine back to the vet, where the tech was appropriated aghast and ran to get the vet. He looked at it and said, we'll need to sedate her and stitch it again. Another $100 later... (they only charged us for the anesthetic, not the overnight stay, vet time, etc...
Saturday was a great day for BYU football - taking down San Diego and ending a perfect conference season.
I had intended to go over to the BYU bookstore and pick up a copy of Anne Bradshaw's book "Please, No Zits" and visit with her for a few minutes at her book signing. However... it was snowing all day, and ever since I got into an accident 3 years ago I really DREAD driving on icy roads. (I was driving down the steep hill to get out of our neighborhood when I couldn't stop at the bottom and slid right out into traffic on State Street - I had the kids in the car with me. Luckily no one was hurt, but mentally - it is still very much with me! Aaron still freaks out when we go down the hill if there's any snow at all on the ground.) If I don't absolutely HAVE to go out, I don't! (Sorry Anne)

I woke up this morning feeling awake - which as you know is pretty rare, so I took advantage of it and got up early (for me) and showered, washed 2 loads of laundry, got Aaron off to school, and still had time to sit quietly for few minutes before I had to wake up Katrina for Speech Therapy. From there we ran a few errands before the 11:30 Dr. appt. After that I took most of the day pretty easy, just your basic keep kids out of the toilet, referee any major arguments, homework, and meal prep stuff, but boy am I ready for bed now!

Until next time -