true confessions

Here I am again. Even though it is a bit early to be making official announcements (hence I'm not yet telling anyone in my ward, but I'm pretty sure none of them check my blog so I feel fairly safe telling YOU guys. My own private little circle of friends) One of the reasons I am so tired and hormonal is because I am 6 weeks along with child number 4. It's rather funny actually. I had just decided that I did want one more child, but I wanted to wait one more year before getting that particular ball rolling, so that I would only have two preschoolers home all day everyday. What can I say... serves me right for thinking I knew what was best... or not counting right, or something like that. Based on my last cycle, the due date should be around December 14th. According to the online pregnancy calendar, here is what the baby looks like today. It is about the size of a coffee bean. I think the fact that our bodies can create a whole new little person is just amazing, and boy oh boy, does it sure suck the life out of me !

So - that's what's going on with me. I am totally exhausted, nauseous, and I am trying to get myself psyched up and mentally prepared to have four children. I have more than my fair share of days when I don't feel like I can take care of the three I have, what am I thinking having one more??? I also seem to be more worried this time - I think because I personally know so many people who in the past year or so have miscarried, or had other serious problems with their pregnancies, or had children born with birth defects... It's just really made me realize what a miracle it is to get a child here safely and in good health.

That's the news. thank you guys for being so supportive. You have been a big, big lift to me when I've needed it these past couple weeks. It is really nice to know that we all go through tough times and that I am not alone.