getting closer... but still so far away!?!?!

Sometimes life is hard - ya know?

We have worked really hard for the past 6+ months with Aaron.  We have paid out a huge chunk of time and money to go through the "Learning Technics - Physio-Neuro therapy" program to help strengthen processes in the brain that are essential for learning.  We have had him going in to see a psychologist/counselor to help deal with the feelings of depression, low self-worth, low self-confidence, negative self talk, and all that jazz.  We took him to have a session with an energy healer and saw some good things from that as well.  We have read a variety of all sort of books, trying to find something that interests him, we have tried to improve the way we deal with him, trying to be more loving, supportive, and building - taking care to correct when necessary but trying to always BUILD, not tear down.  I have tried hard to take more time to spend with him, one on one, to strengthen our relationship and help him feel loved.

I feel like I (we) have done everything I know to do - and then some...  and I firmly believe we ARE seeing results.  Twice in the last week I have gone down to tuck Aaron in at night and "caught him" reading.  I tuck him in at night and when I say "i love you" he says "I love you too" instead of "why?" or "whatever" or starting to cry because he just can't believe anyone loves him... As I recently reported, he got 6 A's and 4 B's on his last report card.  That is BY FAR the best he has EVER done!   While he still usually does poorly on his spelling pretests, using the "learning technics" method of studying his list, he is getting 100% on most tests! 

I am super proud of him and I KNOW we are making progress. - That is why it threw me for a loop today when I was asked by a teacher if I had ever considered having Aaron tested and placed on an IEP so that assignment and testing accommodations could be made for him.  I just wanted to scream NO NO NO!!!

Rest assured - I didn't scream.  I calmly explained that yes, it had been suggested once before - near the end of last year, but that I would only do that as a LAST resort.  (and we aren't there yet...)  In all of my observational experience, once a kid is labeled - once they are in that "special needs group."  They just resign themselves to it and fulfill the label.  I also know that Aaron already feels like he is in the "stupid kids" group for reading, math and spelling - and that he is pretty vocal (and feels badly) about that.  I explained to the teacher exactly HOW MUCH growth I have seen in Aaron this year, and I gave specific examples.   After hearing the differences (and being quite shocked that what they are is seeing IS such an improvement from past years - it's kinda hard to believe when there is still SO far to go...) The teacher agreed that we should probably just hold off and see if he continues the improvement before risking the label. 

AM I WRONG???

I know that what we are doing is helping.  It just has to be.  It can't be my imagination and wishful thinking can it?  Please tell me I am doing the right thing...  Sometimes I wonder if we should just move and then have him repeat a grade.  I feel guilty about this whole mess.  I feel like a lot of it is my fault.  He is a boy with a late summer birthday - I can't help but think that if I had just held him back one more year - it really would have made a difference.  I know, I know - no use crying over spilled milk and all that - but this is my child.  I love him and my heart aches for him.

It's  just so hard to do everything you know to do, and it still just isn't enough...

Halloween 2010

So Halloween came while we were in Hawaii, and it fell on the weekend, which is when our friends Aaron and Holly had the kids.  Friday they got to go to the Novell work party, and then trick or treat around the offices.  They got TONS of candy, which was great since on Saturday night it was cold and stormy. 

Here are some photos Holly took.

you can see just by looking at Aaron and Holly (aka the big bad wolf and little piggy) why my kids love them so much eh?  just too much fun!

and notice Katina's makeup job.  Holly's a PRO!

Thanks Aaron and Holly - for making a great Halloween for our kids!  Youa re the greatest adopted aunt and uncle ever!

being 'schooled' by Bryan

 

This is my little man, Bryan.  I just can't adequately express in words how much fun he is.  He has me laughing at least a couple of times each day.  He is also a little story teller.  He just talks and talks and talks.  (like his mother you say???  Well, maybe just a wee bit)

So, today Bryan was yammering away at me about something or other.  Whatever he was going on about wasn't making a whole lot of sense to me, so I had mostly tuned him out.  Then he said something that caught my attention:

""blah blah blah.. the parachuting chicken... blah blah blah..."

I looked at him and said, "Wait. What is a parachuting chicken?"

He looked at me like I was a total IDIOT and said, "it's a chicken that parachutes."

The look on his face was just priceless, like he couldn't believe his mother was so clueless.  I just nodded my head and said, "Oh, of course.  Go on with your story."  But inside I was laughing SO hard!

I'm just sayin'...

So, you know how kids are so brutally honest?

I'll admit that I am not the best housekeeper in the world... in fact, I'm pretty far onto the opposite side of the housekeeping spectrum!  As such, I've certainly had my fair share of neighborhood kids announcing to me that I should clean my house because it is messy, and things like that.

Its been happening for years, and I always feel that pang of guilt and that "I'm such a terrible wife and mother" internal response.  

So - it happened again last week, little neighborhood girl makes a comment - which is kinda funny cause I've actually been doing BETTER at the whole "trying to keep the house picked up" thing - and I start to feel badly.  Then I had the thought:

"My house can't be all that bad a place to be, 'cause they all keep coming back, and they never seem to want to go home to their own 'clean'  houses..."
 
Not to mention that fact that

"...of course it's easier for their mom's to keep their houses clean - they are always playing (and making messes) over here!"


Case in point - I just took inventory on my kids, and in addition to my own 4 kids - there are 8 other kids playing at my house right now. That's 12 kids that want drinks (count 'em, that's 12 different cups to wash), 12 kids that get hungry and want snacks, drop wrappers on the floor, play with toys and spread them throughout the house, run in and out of the house tracking in sand, dirt, leaves, and who knows what all else...

So maybe my house isn't the cleanest (and I know I can and should do better, but that isn't the point of this rambling post)  -
but the truth of the matter is... the kids sure seem to enjoy coming here - and they keep coming back, so I'm just saying - I can't be all that bad!

Recipes...

I posted on Facebook yesterday that we had Black Bean and Pumpkin Chili for dinner, with ginger pumpkin scones on the side, and I had several people ask for the recipe.  It is way easier to post it here than in the tiny space provided on facebook, so here they are:  Enjoy!

 

Black Bean 'n Pumpkin Chili

• 1 medium onion, chopped
• 1 medium sweet yellow pepper, chopped
• 2 tablespoons olive oil
• 3 garlic cloves, minced
• 3 cups Chicken Broth
• 2 cans (15 ounces each) black beans, rinsed and drained
• 2-1/2 cups cubed cooked turkey (I usually use Chicken because that what I have on hand)
• 1 can (15 ounces) solid-pack pumpkin
• 1 can (14-1/2 ounces) diced tomatoes, undrained
• 2 teaspoons dried parsley flakes
• 2 teaspoons chili powder
• 1-1/2 teaspoons dried oregano
• 1-1/2 teaspoons ground cumin
• 1/2 teaspoon salt

Directions

• In a large skillet, saute the onion, yellow pepper in oil until tender. Add garlic; cook 1 minute longer. Transfer to a 5-qt. slow cooker; stir in the remaining ingredients. Cover and cook on low for 4-5 hours or until heated through. Yield: 10 servings (2-1/2 quarts).

Pumpkin Ginger Scones

• 2 cups all-purpose flour
• 7 tablespoons plus 1 teaspoon sugar, divided
• 2 teaspoons baking powder
• 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1/2 teaspoon ground ginger
• 1/4 teaspoon baking soda
• 5 tablespoons cold butter, divided
• 1 egg, lightly beaten
• 1/4 cup canned pumpkin
• 1/4 cup sour cream

Directions

• In a large bowl, combine the flour, 7 tablespoons sugar, baking powder, cinnamon, salt, ginger and baking soda. Cut in 4 tablespoons butter until mixture resembles coarse crumbs. Combine the egg, pumpkin and sour cream; stir into dry ingredients just until moistened.
• Turn onto a floured surface; knead 10 times. Pat into an 8-in. circle. Cut into eight wedges. Separate wedges and place on a greased baking sheet. Melt remaining butter; brush over dough. Sprinkle with remaining sugar.
• Bake at 425° for 15-20 minutes or until golden brown. Serve warm. Yield: 8 scones.

* note, for dinner scones (as opposed to more dessert like scones), I don't usually sprinkle the sugar on top of them.  also note that it makes 8 LARGE scones

Courtesy of Aaron:

He's a funny kid, this one...


so, a few nights ago Aaron comes into the kitchen after taking a shower and says, "mom do I smell good?"

I smelled his proffered arm and answered, "You certainly smell nice and CLEAN. Why do you ask?"

"I used SOAP. For the first time EVER!" he said. (his answer just cracked me up. I laughed about it all night (and into the next day). Apparently I've left out a few lessons in the personal hygiene arena or something...) And before you turn me in to DCFS - I promise that he has been washed with SOAP at least a few times in his life...


On a SUPER HAPPY note - Aaron got his report card for term one and he earned 6 A's and 4 B's!!!!!!!
I am SO proud of him! We have been working really hard - in a lot of ways - for the past 6 months, and while he is still (and always will be "Aaron," he is really making some great progress in so many ways!

I just LOVE that kid!

Hawaii Vacation Day 8 (last day)

Our last day in Hawaii...  (bummer, I love it here and don't think I ever want to leave) 

Today we got up, packed up all of our stuff, checked out of the hotel, and headed out to the North Shore.

this is the foyer/front desk of our hotel.  To give you the general idea - I was sitting the car to take the photo.  it was just wide open!  I loved it!

Our first stop was the Dole Plantation.  It didn't open until 9:30, and we had to be out at the airfield by 11:00, so we didn't have a lot of time here.  We went on the walking audio tour (in the POURING rain) and it was very nice.  Lots of interesting plants to enjoy and I learned a lot about the produce/food exports of Hawaii.  - - Did you know that it takes 18 months after planting before you can harvest a ripe pineapple!?!?!  I found that absolutely incredible!  (and they don't grow on trees either.  They grow on these short spiky plants...)

if you click to enlarge you'll be able to see the rain just pouring down!

Add caption

One of the plants I liked was the "birds of paradise" plant - I just think they are cool looking.  In the picture above you can see a larger plant, and below a close up.

From there we went out to the Dillingham Airfield where Tim had signed up to take a beginning flight lesson on this crazy flying machine (I don't remember what it was called) that was like part motorcycle, part hang glider, and part airplane.  I chose to skip this activity, (what with my intense fear of heights and my serious motion sickness issues) but I have to admit it did look pretty cool - and the pictures he brought back were amazing!  (I don't know how to get them from the disk to the computer, so you'll just have to take my word for it until I can get some posted.

all suited up, buckled in, and ready to go!

taxiing back down the runway before take off

 After Tim's flight - which he really enjoyed, we made a quick stop at the North Shore Soap Factory, and then popped in for a Matsumoto's shaved  ice. (I know everyone says you "have" to get a Matsumoto shaved ice... but to me it just tasted like regular shaved ice...  I kinda wish I had spent my money and calories on a pineapple ice cream at the Dole plant instead...)

 As we continued along, we stopped at a spot along the road that locals call "turtle beach" (or something like that).  It is not marked, but with so many cars parked along the road it is hard to miss.  We watched the sea turtles swimming in the waves and that was really cool, PLUS there were two big girls that were up on the beach sunning themselves.  They are amazing animals.

  

 We continued on to the Waimea Valley, where we toured the botanical garden as we hiked to the falls.  It was so GORGEOUS!  I just couldn't get enough!

We bought lunch at the Waimea snack bar - I had a Mahi Mahi (fish) sandwich.  It was pretty yummy, with garlic fries.  Notice our little peacock friend, just hanging around waiting for us to drop food.

It was amazing to me that even through we had been here for a week, and tours multiple botanical gardens, we kept seeing "new" flowers.  It was really spectacular.  Tim and I both through these  were pretty interesting looking.

Tim chose to wear  his swimsuit and swim out under the falls, but since we were going to the airport right after this, I opted to stay dry... and I was only a "little" jealous!

It was almost time for the sunset by the time we got back to the car, so we just went over to the Waimea beach park and sat there watching the big waves roll in and watching the sunset.  A "surge" was scheduled to come in the following day so the waves were already on the rise.  It was fun watching the people surfing/body surfing.  Tim went and and gave it a try, but stopped after he got SLAMMED into the sand pretty hard. 

Tim heading into the waves

I know it's kinda hard to tell, but check out the curl on this baby!

a beautiful sunset to cap off a wonderful vacation

After the sun was down, we started out for the airport.  We had pre-paid for a tank of gas, so we wanted to return the car with as little gas as possible, but we were riding on EMPTY and I was getting super nervous.  I was having visions of us running out of gas and missing our flight all all sorts of fun scenarios like that.  Tim was trying to convince me that you don't really run out of gas when it is on empty... that they always build in some leeway cause they know people like to push the limits... 

here you can see the gas gauge (the small on in the center) - and the LOW FUEL warning message in the lower right corner - it was at this point Tim said, "yeah, it's getting a little low."

Apparently I didn't buy Tim's logic, because we got to a little town with some gas stations - I picked one and pulled right in. 

This is after we added a gallon.  the name of this picture is "Jeri's peace of mind"

We returned our rental car, took the shuttle over to the terminal, then the nightmare began!  Getting through the agricultural checkpoint, checking in our bag, and going through security were all awful!  Due to the mail bomb scares that took place while we were on vacation, airport security had been tightened, and the lines were HORRIBLE!  Plus when we tried to check in our bag, we found that it was 10 lbs overweight, and we either had to dump 10 lbs or pay an extra $75!  So we sat on the floor of the airport, opened up the bag and started deciding what we could throw away.  We managed to transfer most of the stuff from our suitcase into our carry-ons, threw out a couple little nothings... and we just barely managed to squeeze it all in - but it made our carry-on bags extra heavy, bulky, and awkward.  

Back at the airport - a funny story about this picture.  I was standing by the statue, waiting for Tim to take the picture, and I happened to looked up.  Wouldn't you just know it - the sculptor didn't bother to put a swimsuit - or loin cloth - or anything... on this guy.  HELLO!?!?!?  Is a little modesty asking too much?

Our flight left Honolulu at 10pm Monday night, and after another 2 hour stopover in PHX, we arrived back in SLC at 1:00pm, Tuesday afternoon.

flying over the Grand Canyon  (we couldn't see it on the way out cause it was super cloudy that day - the whole flight)

  It was great to get home and see the kids.  It was nice to feel loved and missed.

My sweet kids (3 of them at least) in their "Hawaii clothes."

Postscript - the first full day back (Wed) I was totally ready to be home.  I was loving being with the kids, enjoying working hard to get all the laundry caught up, etc...  Reality set in by Thursday I was feeling major OVERLOAD and was totally ready to go back to Hawaii. 

Hey Tim - It was a WONDERFUL vacation!  THANK YOU!  I love you!