Sunday, March 27, 2011

a painful goodbye

Today I was released from my calling as Primary Chorister.  I have served in that capacity for a long time, over 5 years.  It is amazing to me to think that the kids in Junior primary have NEVER had anyone but me.  (except for the very few times I've gotten a sub)  The kids in Senior primary... they don't remember anyone but me.  My kids, all but Aaron, have never had any music leader but me.  Aaron was only 5 when I started in that calling.  IN other words, I AM primary music to those kids.

And I LOVE them!

When Bro. Farr called me in last Wednesday and told me they were releasing me from Primary, I couldn't help myself, I started to cry.  I couldn't speak, just nodded my head when he gave me my new calling (another post to follow).   He then said they wanted me to still do the music for Sunday to give the new person another week to "catch her breath."  That was one of THE hardest things I've ever had to do!


My kids saw me crying when I got home that night and they knew where I had gone...  Katrina sobbed herself to sleep that night, she literally cried for over an hour...  broke my heart even more.  Aaron stated that he was "never going to church ever again!" and that he was going to get all of the senior primary kids together and convince them to raise their hands when the bishopric member asked if there was anyone "opposed."  I talked to him quite a bit about it all, and SOME of it sunk in.  He didn't rally anyone else to join his rebellion - but when the "opposed" question was asked, his hand shot up, straight and sure!

Trying to look at the kids and sing with them was nearly impossible.  How much I am going to miss those little monkeys.  They were so much FUN to be with.  I loved their off the wall comments and random thoughts.  I love their enthusiasm and energy.  I love their simple and sincere testimonies and desire to learn and do what is right.  and that was just junior primary.

Saying good-bye to the senior primary about ripped my heart out!  I know that every calling has to come to an end at some time, but it's like I told Tim (when he was mocking me for crying so long and hard about it) ...  In order to really magnify your calling, you have LOVE those you are called to serve.  That same love that helps you serve well, means that when it comes time to move onto a new learning adventure, your heart gets broken.

I LOVE MY primary kids, all of them.  (the 110 children currently in primary, plus all of the ones who have moved up into YM and YW and moved away over the past 5 +  years.)  I cherish the time I have spent with them, learning and singing testimony building songs.   I pray that they will remember the many messages and testimonies I have shared with them, and that during times of heartache or trial, the words and messages of the songs we sang together will comfort and lift them.

I am taking the liberty of copying the facebook thread about this tough day and I'm pasting them here so that I will have them in my journal.  You DO NOT need to read these - they are totally just "stroke my ego" kind of comments...  I worked really hard for many years in that calling, and hearing that I did well and that I will be missed validates me.

my original facebook post: 
Tough day. I have a headache from crying so much. After 5+ years of being the primary chorister, I was released today. It was hard. I love those children SO SO much!!! and I love the power of the primary songs in helping build their growing testimonies.
Looking forward (with mild trepidation) to the next adventure... Beehive Advise...r/ Camp Director. Ready, Set, GO!
 responses: 

No comments: